30 Signs of Abuse

Today’s post is another Blogtember chapter with the prompt: Pass on some useful advice or information you learned and always remembered.

I talk about abuse a lot, but I don’t really mention the signs. These are the signs that you deserve to know.

10 Signs of Emotional and/or Verbal Abuse

  • You’re constantly being put down.
  • You’re forced to think of others before thinking of yourself.
  • You don’t feel like you can explain how you feel.
  • You feel like your feelings are unimportant and that your problems are pedestrian.
  • You constantly feel worthless from how you’re treated.
  • You feel like you lack a say in anything and everything and, if you attempt to speak up, that you’ll be degraded even more.
  • You’re blamed for everything that goes wrong.
  • You’re ignored if you do something to upset them until you apologize or beg for forgiveness.
  • You feel like you have to beg for forgiveness.
  • You feel that insults are disguised or backed up as “jokes”, and when you try to argue otherwise, things get even worse. If you’re too scared to argue otherwise, consider it abuse as well.

10 Signs of Physical Abuse

  • When grabbed, the force of their grasp leaves behind a bruise.
  • After receiving punishment, an injury or injuries (i.e. questionable bruises and welts, questionable burns, questionable fractures, questionable cuts and scrapes) exists.
  • You’re afraid of the person(s) treating you this way.
  • Injuries happen often.
  • When it happens, they are upset or seem to have no reaction to what they are doing at all. They may also appear to be enjoying themselves.
  • They continue spanking/hitting/slapping/punching/etc. even though you beg them to stop and/or until, as they say, “[they are] tired of it”.
  • They have a lot of rage.
  • You have bruises shaped like hands, fingers or objects (i.e. a belt).1
  • You’re not allowed to tell anyone.
  • Objects are thrown at you intentionally.

10 Signs of Sexual Abuse

  • Married or not, you’re forced to have sex.
  • Your clothes, body language and/or attitude/behavior “infers that [you] want it”.
  • It’s not consensual.
  • You “had to”.
  • You felt uncomfortable and knew what they were doing was wrong, but you were too afraid to stop them.
  • Indecent exposure.
  • It involves physical abuse, and you didn’t consent to BDSM and, in the event that you do have a safe word, they didn’t listen.
  • You want to forget it, but everything reminds you of it./You feel like it’s haunting you.
  • It made you feel dirty inside and out.
  • Rage was involved.

And there are many more. There may also be threats, you may feel harassed and/or you’re not allowed to talk about what happened, as you were threatened to keep quiet. The abuser(s) may also be in denial, refusing to believe that what they did was/is wrong.

More info may be found at: Abuse Aloud, Child Welfare Information GatewayHeart TouchersNSOPW, and many more other websites. Information on the aftermath may be found at Adults Surviving Child Abuse.

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Comments on this post

Sara’s gravatar

Thank you Liz…for sharing this important information. It needs to get out there, especially to younger people.

I also liked the resources you offered. You never know who might stop by and land here at just the right time…someone who needs help, but might be afraid to get it.

You are a special person, Liz:~)

Kristine’s gravatar

The first ten signs are basically the story of my life. I’m so glad I’m no longer experiencing emotional abuse. I’m so glad I’m as far away as I can be from the bane of my existence.

Kya’s gravatar

That is really good to share this and hopefully if someone is suffering from this and doesn’t realise or feels alone it may help.

*a million hugs*

Stephanie’s gravatar

Thanks for this post! Information like this is not something that we see enough of.

I should mention quickly that if you’re Asian, then being told that you need to put everyone else ahead of yourself and that your own well-being is not important when compared to the well-being of your family and community is… very typical. I should also mention that countries with cultures that enforce these values have a large number of people who suppress their own mental illnesses and commit suicide. I don’t really know what to think of it, as it is a part of me, and many other Asians.

[…] remember my mom and stepfather’s face when I told them that the way they treated me was abusive. My mom just continuously shook her head and told me it was because I didn’t listen — that […]