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As many of you know, I don’t have a mother.
I had a person who birthed me, but she was never a real mother.
I had my birth mother raise me, but she wasn’t motherly.
There were times where she was motherly, but when I look back and wonder about it, I don’t honestly know if it was genuine or if she was secretly wanting something out of it.
I don’t have a mother like everyone else, and that is one of the things that pains me greatly.
I have a stepmother, Kim, but I don’t feel like she and I will ever have that mother-daughter relationship I’ve always wanted — the one she has with her blood daughter — and I envy that about her two children, my two youngest siblings, because they have this great love so many people in the world celebrate every year, and I will never feel that — I’ll never fully understand what it feels like, how it’s supposed to be — and that’s heartbreaking.
And my mother doesn’t understand that.
And the companies who advertise Mother’s Day need to find new tactics, because it makes me wonder about the others who don’t have mothers — the children of gay couples, the children whose mothers died, the children whose mothers are estranged, the list goes on — who are receiving these emails time after time, again and again, all the more annoyed about getting them.
All that positivity about how ‘mothers will always be mothers’ and ‘share your mother story to win’ and blah, blah, BLAH.
There has to be more people in my situation dealing with similar feelings — at least one person who understands the pain.
Fathers never seem to receive the same compliments mothers do; I’ve never heard ‘he’ll always be your father’.
WHAT IS THIS? WHAT DO MOTHERS DO THAT MAKES THEM SO MUCH MORE SPECIAL THAN FATHERS?
Is it because they give birth? Because they go into labor? Humans wouldn’t be able to reproduce without the men, no matter who they are.
That ‘a mother’s love is the greatest love of all’ is crap.
The double standard for mothers and fathers is pure crap.
People expect fathers to disappear — they can replace fathers left and right. What makes a mother so irreplaceable? If it’s because she births the child, try telling that to the adoptive mother who can’t physically have kids. Her love is just as great and wonderful and pure for her child as this love everyone talks about.
For those who don’t have mothers, it’s not the same. We get lectured on how our mother will always be our mother. Oh, you’re father left? That’s okay, your mother will find you a new one.
Mothers need to stop being treated like saints, because they’re not all saints.
…thanks for reading my yearly mother rant. Last year, I wrote a letter to her.