I’m currently bouncing back and forth between hot and cold. Should I pull the necklace of chain beads to lower the turn strength on the fan above this bed, or should I leave it? Decisions, decisions… I am also half in pain on one side… Although this probably doesn’t make any sense. I had a weird dream/nightmare last night again. I really don’t enjoy them, because they make my days run together and my nights feel so long. I remember the dream well – it did wake me up, and it wasn’t over two hours ago, so… And with the way it went, how could anyone forget something that terrible? Everything was backwards, and the present was entirely different, “what if ___” definitely being put into place – a lot of places.
Anyway, somehow I gained something to blog about after I woke up. I can’t remember how I got it, though.
I remember going to the doctor and weighing ~154/155 to ~160 lbs. I also had a cyst, which can cause you to gain weight. Two doctors had asked me if I had any plans to lose weight, and I replied, “No, because I really felt like I was losing weight…” Their reply was some assumption of me simply not eating in order to lose weight, so I mentioned my cysts (they both knew about this, each time). Still, they were very concerned with my weight. It wasn’t like I was overweight or anything, you know? If it was because she thought I was lard’s biological daughter and that I had two overweight parents, she was wrong1. Anyway, she told me to work out and stretch, even if it hurt to stretch. So I, a twenty year old who wanted to get rid of my painful ovarian cyst, listened to said doctors. I stretched and began walking and working out and doing all of this crazy activity, and I ended up in even more pain. I did this because I seriously thought it would help.
You know, maybe if doctors would take a different approach to peoples’ weights (especially girls’/people who are more sensitive than others) there wouldn’t be so many people out there dieting who look great. On Xanga, there are various blogrings consisting of 10 to 15 year olds who weigh between 100 and 170, look great and have a goal weight of 100/staying at 100 lbs.
Personally, I don’t see the need to start telling people they need to start losing weight unless they are more than 50 pounds over weight and it’s obvious. There is much more to the weight, though (at least I WOULD HOPE SO): whether they’re eating healthy, getting plenty of exercise (unless some condition prevents them from doing so)…
I don’t know. That’s just my opinion. I’ve been there/through that. I’m really hoping I don’t end up back in that whole I-gotta-have-a-goal-weight-of-130-lbs-or-else-I’m-gonna-wind-up-like-my-mom – not that I’m calling her overweight/trying to insult her or anything, though – because I really don’t enjoy it. It becomes an obsession – an addiction – and it’s really hard to destroy/get over that. Plus, you have people who are all appalled that you would even do that.
No worries, though. I’m not anywhere near it. I just had a thought for a post come to mind and figured I’d write it out before I lose it.2
I also just wanted to say that I think/believe doctors intentionally try to freak you out before they really should to begin with. I mean, if you’re going to a doctor who knows hardly anything about your self-esteem and s/he asks you about how many sodas you drink in about a week and then lectures you about how “obesity this…” and “obesity that…” – HOW does s/he not know you’re not going to start drinking just water and eating just fruits? Because remember, s/he also mentioned something about sugar. -.-