I’m clumsy on a regular basis, but yesterday it was taken to a new extreme. I’m still half here and half gone, so if this post doesn’t make sense, then it’s definitely clumsy itself. 😉
I was given the yucky-tasting Halcion to ‘relax and attempt sleep’. I think it’s annoying that they told me to do such, as I honestly don’t understand how one can “try” — and I’m almost certain she was referring to me relaxing moving-wise, which wasn’t something I could control considering they were tics without some kind of muscle relaxer. I don’t remember falling asleep, or receiving the IV sedation, or being moved to the other room, or asking, “Who are we visiting?” and Grandmama replying, “We’re home.” I also don’t remember changing my shirt, or laying down, but I remember that I had a bit of my smoothie. I don’t know if I got online during that time, either, and I’m honestly too lazy to check.
I quite like IV sedation.
Personally feeling as if I can move about normally and not being able to is a weird feeling. Even though I feel as if I can do anything (except cough, yawn, sneeze, drink, eat, touch my mouth/jaw, and sneeze), my body’s a bit too stiff for that, as if it’s fatigued.
I dislike that a dental assistant had said “no phone today” yesterday, as if I wasn’t allowed to operate it. I don’t talk on the phone. But I can’t not have my phone. It’s a paranoia and security necessity accompanied by major anxiety and the likelihood of a PTSD episode if I can’t have it near me/where I actually want it.1
Now, I can’t quite sleep, and I’m considering playing Sims 3 — but I’m exhausted! I can’t sleep on my back without choking, but I can’t knowingly pass out on either side because I’m aware of the light blood taste that may get to the jaw against the pillow, or that I’m setting myself up for more hurting. 😐 I’m had this problem last time, but I dealt with it, and this is now and the present and I’m dealing with it again (and I just want it to be over now).
- No, I’m serious. It’s either that or an unhealthy phobia. ↩