Don’t cry on me (no offense)

I’m difficult to get along with. I’m not afraid to say what I think of you right then and there, no matter the appropriateness. A lot of bloggers dislike me, and that’s okay, because I’ve a distaste for people in general. The blogging community is comprised of mostly women1, yet I surprisingly find myself befriending a small few of them anyway. I think I could blog without having friends and gaining connections, but where is the fun in that?

I’m probably not the best candidate you should come to for a shoulder to cry on, as crying totally isn’t my thing; offline it just makes me feel mega awkward. What am I supposed to say? What if I don’t say anything? Can I just nod? Can I just say, “mhm”? Am I supposed to pat them on the back and say, “there, there”? I don’t like it when people cry. I don’t know how to deal with that. I used to not cry much until recently2; I understand that getting it out there and just crying it out helps, but don’t cry on me. I’m sensitive, and I have emotions, but I am mentally unable to deal with that.

I won’t sugarcoat anything for you, so if I tell you you3 don’t want to hear it, listen. If you push, then yeah, I’ll tell you. I told my uncle M why I didn’t drive. His reaction was appalling. I understand that you’re fucking shocked and all, but please, just PLEASE, spare me the whole, “Why would you want to kill yourself?!” If I say something quietly, it’s for a freaking reason, dammit.

I’ll keep your secret(s) unless they can harm you or someone else. If you’ve murdered someone, and you confide in me, don’t promise me to not tell. Actually, don’t even tell me something like that. I don’t wish to be an accomplice.4 I probably won’t tell you mine, though, as they’re typically dark and dreary.

I probably can’t hang out with you often. For one, my allergist said to try to stay as indoors as possible until June because of the pollen count, and two, I’m an introvert. Even going to the store is exhausting. Aside from those two interferences, I only really get a kick out of going to the movies and watching a new movie. I’m not the type of person who finds walking around random stores that interest me in the mall to find something cute, whether I’ve money or not. I’d much rather stay in and just play a board game, watch a movie, work a puzzle, sleep, make some recipe neither of us have ever tried before, do some DIY/craft thing, and/or just be alone.

I’m also probably a tad bit more difficult to please than you would think. I recently pushed away a guy I was really in love with fond of5 because I was so sick and tired of only being wanted when it was convenient for him. I don’t do that shit. I understand people get busy and whatnot, but I’m so not going to just wait around on someone. If you attempt to please me with money and/or another bribe of some sort, I definitely won’t be pleased. I’m not exactly materialistic; instead, I’m sentimental. Sure, my phone, my camera, my movies, my laptop and my iPod are all electronics and important to me, but just because I prefer to not let them go doesn’t mean I’m materialistic and/or spoiled. My iPod Nano was a birthday gift, I bought my own movies, I bought my ~$300 camera in 2008, and my laptop was purchased when I thought I was going to get back into school in the fall in 2011. I’m just not pleased over things others my age are, and I get so annoyed when people think that I am. And really, I’m not just talking about items. Words and actions count as well.

That is simply yours truly in a friend perspective in a nutshell. I’ve seen so much talk on Facebook, Twitter and blogs about how a friend “should” act. Just because a person doesn’t live up to the stereotype doesn’t make that person a horrible friend.

  1. I’m 22. I suppose I should work up a habit of saying that no matter how weird it feels.
  2. Past couple of years, starting at about 2006/2007. More so within 2011-present.
  3. No comma, ladies and gentlemen. Because no freaking comma is needed. The proper English language is failing before our eyes. D;
  4. Or whatever the word for knowing about a crime is.
  5. For a few years. Yes, I’m hurt. I prefer to not be all lovey-dovey, so no talking about this.

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Comments on this post

Nancy’s gravatar

Having a few connections is better than none. It’s fine to not sugarcoat things and be straight up if you’re not a total bitch about it. At least you’re honest about it. Unless you’re implying otherwise… Then I don’t know :0.

You have a legitimate reason on why you can’t hang out outdoors often. It’s good that you pushed away the guy who only came around when he feels like it. It’s so much better this way since it’s not a one way street.

Stephanie’s gravatar

I think that many of us without mental illnesses, even though we won’t implode if someone cries on your shoulder, also have no idea what to say or how to react when someone does need our shoulders to cry on. At my school, the counseling department holds classes telling other adults roughly “what might work” because so many people freeze in confusion when our friends cry on our shoulders. (“There there” just sounds so silly!)

And dude, those people on Twitter and Facebook need to go out and meet more types of people. Every friend wants something different. Different culture make people want vastly different responses. Thus, the phrase “what might work” above.

Bubblez’s gravatar

I really like how you are so blunt and honest with who you are, personality-wise. I find this to be rare because not everyone can find this courage to confess something this honest or is willing to reveal who they are..

And like Stephanie, I also find it difficult to react when someone does need our shoulders to cry on or telling something important. Sometimes, I feel like they might blame me if I gave them the wrong advice or when I just don’t know how to react. It’s a bad feeling for me to have as I am also quite sensitive. I think i tend to be someone who is great at listening but when it comes to giving advice, I am not the best source.

Irene’s gravatar

I applaud you, Liza, for being real and for expressing your emotions freely here on your blog.

I am more emotional (and more unable to deal with crying) when the crying involves a family member. That makes me really depressed (although I try not to show them because that may make them cry even more.) I am better able to handle crying when it involves my friends, because I guess there is less emotional attachment with them?

I do have a problem with crying myself. I used to cry so easily in the past, but now, it seems the tears just won’t flow, and all the emotions get locked up inside. And when I do cry, I end up in sobs. It’s hard.

Carrie’s gravatar

Getting along with someone isn’t always easy but you’re not a pain 🙂 I think some people don’t like me.. They may label me as “annoying” which I can be. But hey, I really can care less about how people feel about me. As long as I like the skin I am in and the personality I have, I am fine. 😉