Before I blogged, I’d save tidbits of my life in shoe boxes. I’d fill them until they wouldn’t fit anything else. They were mine, and no one messed with them. I could easily hide them under my bed or in my closet, and no one would know they were there.
I wrote things as a child that upset my mother, and when I was at school, she’d tear up my room to see what I’d written all the time. I’d get into trouble for everything I wrote, no matter its theme. Shoe boxes were all I had to store things in to avoid them being thrown away, dug through, or terrorized in other ways.
In trying to find something to blog about, I found myself going through one of the boxes. What I found is pretty amazing. Because of my PTSD, I don’t remember things from this box on their own. Having these things reminds me of the good times — I only saved the good times in my box, for the most part. Too often I feel people don’t understand that abusive environments aren’t always bad. Sometimes, I like to just talk about the good things.
The pictures aren’t perfect/as great as mine normally are. The lighting in my room is terrible… My ceiling fan light has, like, Stale Light Syndrome or something. >.>
Anyway, this is going to take a few posts, as there are many things. I didn’t display the whole box, but some things sort of need explaining.
…and because I spent a few hours fixing the lighting of and adding numbers to the photo in PSP for each picture.
1. Porcelain angel, rabbit, bear
I once had more of these, but they either broke or got lost. Either my mom or Mama Lois gave them to me when I was little, and I used to play with them. Before the types of people who think that the breaking-things-like-these are why kids should not play with things like these: The broken pieces broke/got lost in moving. By the time I was in ninth grade, I had moved approximately fourteen different times. I lost count after that number in eighth grade, honestly.
The angel has an aquamarine gem on it and says “March”. March is my birth month, and aquamarine is my birth stone.
I received the rabbit on an Easter, I think. I don’t remember when I got the bear and its basket.
They weren’t super expensive… the rabbit one has a Family Dollar sticker still partially intact on the bottom of it.
2. Saint Louis Gateway Arch
My dad had this job he had to travel a lot for, and he would always have souvenirs of some kind ready for me when we saw each other again. This is one he brought back for me. <3
3. Guardian angel
My first real boyfriend’s mom got this for me. She knew things were tough with my mom, and she was always really sweet to me. I have her as a Facebook friend and think she is still pretty amazing. ;D
4. Crocheted bun cover
I don’t know if I received this from lard’s mother or from Grandmama. Anyway, it’s here. I used to use it a lot. It turns a Betty Bunhead bun into something less snobby… it’s cute.
5. Fish bracelet
This is another thing my dad got for me. I’m not sure if it was a souvenir, though.
6. Valentine’s Day card from Mama Lois, circa 2008
We wrote each other often after I moved in with my dad, and I’d call her often—nearly everyday after school once I got off the bus.
I was given this by Grandmama that she got when she went somewhere.
8. Guitar necklace
Bri and I split the cost for a set of guitar necklaces from Claire’s. The back of mine says “Forever”, whereas hers says “Friends”.
I actually lost this in a room at a resort in South Padre Island, or I didn’t… I don’t remember. Maybe I wound up finding it?
We chose guitars, because we had this dream of starting a band together and becoming the next Mary-Kate and Ashley, sans being twins.
We looked a lot alike as kids, though.
9. “S” necklace
Ah, the dreaded first name. I don’t remember from whom I received this, but when I legally change my first name, it will become quite irrelevant, along with all the other things regarding my first name. Heh.
10. Peace doves ribbon bookmark
I was given this by Grandmama quite some time ago.
11. Heart choker necklace
I don’t remember where I got this, but I once wore this thing all. the. time. I liked it, but I didn’t really care for the fact that it choked me.
…but that was literally the style at the time, so it just worked. It was during my “fashion is painful” years.
Fashion shouldn’t be painful; it should be comfortable.
12. Glow-in-the-dark Scooby Doo “Flower Power” flower
I don’t remember where I got this, but I used to have more, and I’m pretty sure it’s Scooby Doo, a franchise I was once obsessed with.
13. Texas pom-pom pen
Another souvenir from my dad… though if it’s Texas, does it really count as such? I used it a few times before I realized it was too uncomfortable to write with and worked better as a stimming toy/something to play with and/or look at.
14. Fruit Stripe gum
The gum was fruity-flavored and lost flavor quite quickly, but those wrappers were tattoos. I tried using one (not pictured) and wound up failing time after time after time… I guess the childhood me is the only one that knew how to master it. That is the last-ever pack I have ever seen in stores.
15. Theater ticket stubs
They’re faded, but for the most part, here’s what’s up:
- Hairspray (2) — I’m not sure if I went with someone or if I saw it myself twice. These two are the most faded ones.
- School for Scoundrels — If you, you know, are going on your first-ever date with a first-ever boyfriend, you should totally choose a movie that wasn’t yet rated, has loads of sexual content, and is basically a guide teaching losers how to get girls. That is the kind of movie you choose — not romantic ones, like Step Up. The most awkward thing ever. He felt awkward, too, though… it worked out.
- Step Up — I watched this alone. I went with a friend to see it. The theater was oddly packed — like, people were sitting on the floor — so I’m not sure what was up there, but anyways, I watched it. I got in to the movie a bit late, however.
- Meet the Robinsons — This was during the time I was “homeschooled”. I was also working 60 hours/week at Sonic. I watched this movie… I think alone? Or I watched it with my mom and siblings. I don’t remember, honestly. I know I watched Stomp the Yard alone, though. My mom refused to watch a “black” movie. I don’t know. I loved it, honestly… I should watch it again. :>
- Twilight — I’m not sure if this is from when I went with Alice (Pear) to see it, or when I went as a date with Andy. Whatever the case, I saw it twice. I was a Twilight fanatic. There are two types of people…
I watch a lot of dance movies. Name one. I’ve most likely seen it.
Part two of this will be eventually… this takes a lot of writing, a lot of time, etc. >.<