A public response to a modern-day bully who does not understand “no”

Within the four walls of my bedroom, I’ve been dealing with a nuisance officially since last year. Because the drama created by this person has strained some of my relationships with people and a few friends, and made me wary of some repeat professional relationships I hold with people, I’m responding to the bloody email on my blog so there can be no question as to what was or wasn’t said anymore. I don’t know how else to make nor justify my points.

I don’t know how else to make it clear I do not want a relationship with this person.

Comments are turned off due to the type/matter of this post. Should you have any concerns, contact me privately.

Important note: I respect others’ privacy. I do not usually share emails I receive with people, but this person has caused me so much stress, anxiety and complications I haven’t a clue how else to make her stop. I don’t believe privacy is owed to those who constantly bash, steal from, copy and/or create rumors about my friends and me publicly, especially after we have told her to leave us alone.

She’s been at this for over a decade. I guess it’s a prime example of the darker side of the blogosphere we bloggers prefer to pretend doesn’t exist—the monster in our closet who goes bump in the night, keeping us up ’til dawn whilst we cry on our peers’ shoulders, sometimes wondering why we even blog in the first place.

The original email

Liz,

I really don’t understand why we can’t be civil towards one another. I have tried and the good Lord knows I have tried (I did not take his name in vein this time). For some reason, you have to be this stuck up know it all person that cannot be nice to me. I know, I have done you wrong in the past, but for some reason you just can’t let go of the past. Why? You think of me as this evil person who copies others. Well, guess what? You’re no better in that department than I am. You have copied other book reviewing sites and the way they bold the titles and such, that Liz lately is copying Georgie Gazzette, Cassidy Currently and etc. we all copy or borrow from one another. Even the directors of some of your favorite movies have borrowed or copied elements or songs even.  Everyone borrows whether you want to believe it or not.

Anyways, TC and I have made this agreement in the past, in which she had broken, stating we can read one another’s blogs just not comment on it.1 I broke that pact by writing that angry poem years ago because I was upset (yet, only one person cared enough to ask what was wrong with me then). Anyways, you try so hard to be right in my eyes that it feels you’re just trying so hard to impress me. If you can’t stand me like you show in your replies to me, why can’t you ignore me like everyone else have? It also feels that you’re trying to change the way I think and do things. Would it make you feel better if I listen to everything you say to me? I’m sorry, that will not happen. I think differently than you, which is why you and I have a different set of friends. We have friends who resemble something about us (a little bit of psychology for ya). Speaking of psychology, I was taught that the reason why we have to hate someone is because we actually like something about that person. I dislike you, but I like the fact you’re speaking about your illness allistic or something. I find that cool that you’re trying to help others who might be in the same situation as you (mind you, this is not an insult).

Anyways, you’ll most likely think I’m bashing or insulting you, but I’m not. I just want to be left alone in peace to blog without you making some remark about what I do. Let’s make that same pact that TC and I had made years ago before I angrily wrote that email and pissed people off, (this pact or truce is a bit modified)let’s read each other’s blogs and not comment on them UNLESS we can say something nice to each other. I am willing to do this if you’re willing to do this? I know we can’t be friends, but we can be nice towards each other without being mean. You’re the only one who actually responds back to me and I respect that in you.

Sincerely,
[Name]

My response

[Name],

A nice person makes you feel good; they agree with you even when you’re wrong. Wikitionary describes nice as “silly, ignorant, foolish”. I don’t consider myself stuck up, but I do like precision; I find comfort in it. I am wrong on occasion, and I will admit to it upon realising. We’re all walking contradictions in that way—as we learn, we may realise how wrong we were and not want to be that way anymore. Realising my ignorance and putting forth the effort to not be such is what helps make me a better person, methinks.

Since I think I would have gotten along with you during my dark, depressed times, I guess if I looked at the people with whom I now surround myself, I’d see them as stuck up, too: they’re all on seemingly higher levels than I am in my life. We have similar interests and common passions, but because they’re totally owning their “it”, they motivate me want to be a better person and keep reaching for my own dreams. I like surrounding myself by these kinds of people; they keep things interesting. So…maybe this is the problem you have with me, I dunno. No one can decide for yourself but you.

Bolding text is a way of formatting. I use a mix of AP Stylebook and my own writing structure for formatting blog posts, because there are situations wherein quoting/italicising titles may not work, and underlining titles is a bit…eh, it doesn’t totally have a place on the web, since links are often underlined; it creates confusion. Thus, in posts like Monthly Movies, it made better sense to bold the titles of the movies I’d watched so as to better differentiate between the similar and suggested movies. Formatting is situational; writing styles vary.

Although the proper term would be “all parties involved in the development of a film project”, film projects must go through a legal review process, during which any necessary licenses/royalties are configured. To even use titles of songs/movies/books/poems for the same, one must go through legal barriers if the title is not in the public domain—such extends to even lines of the aforementioned (and more) works, hence the reason writers may hesitate to mention songs in their books, and television series and movies may refer to songs, but not allow characters to sing them in their entirety. Even YouTube cover artists must go through proper channels to obtain licenses to do covers and pay royalties to use songs for their videos.

Stop justifying your actions with matters you apparently haven’t even begun to comprehend, especially with someone who has studied this stuff immensely as not only a special interest, but as something she considers for a potential career. I mean, really, to take from the saying “Don’t mess with Texas”, Don’t mess with autistics’ special interests.

But also, don’t mess with Texas.

Liz Lately was thought up before my previous blog domain, but was already registered and parked at a static for-sale site. It dates back to high school. Alliteration is a literary technique I use over and over and over and over and…

Nearly every email of yours name drops someone else. The funnier part is how there is more to the story than you always give me—usually how you went and decided shit for yourself. Not once has TC ever commented on your blog. You don’t express care about other people’s feelings or wants, thus reminding me of abusers in my life because you don’t respect when you’re told “no”. Entitled to be in people’s lives you are not, especially after you refuse to accept their rejection. You have never once respected any of my wishes, and you continue to reject those of my friends’.

Every time I disagree with you, you view it as some sick attempt of mine to “impress” you or win you over, using things you read and took from context to justify why you think you know what I want and think more than me—thus using it to further disrespect me. No means no—how does this not make any sense?!

I reply, because I was raised to not sit on the sidelines. To remain silent out of an expected obligation to the other party is oppression. I reply, because for too long I was silent and let people walk all over me; I stand up for my friends and myself. I reply because I don’t want to believe you justify your actions like you do—the exact way abusers do—because I want so bad to believe you’re merely ignorant instead. I reply, because you put words into my mouth, and I really dislike when people have the impression that I hate them. I don’t hate people; I despise or dislike them. I forgave you, but wanting nothing to do with you is not me holding a grudge or me hating you—it’s knowing when a person is toxic.

I’m autistic. It is not a fucking illness. You cannot call my autism an illness and expect me not to take offense. To quote Takano Masamune, “You really are the worst.”

You are allistic. So sorry for your “illness”.

I do think you are bashing/insulting me, because you are. You claim to want peace, but continue to push thought I’ve said no again and again and again and again… You make decisions for all parties involved on your own, and since you don’t respect rejection, blocking you does no good.

You once used alleged facts of getting a restraining order against you—me supposedly having to fly to California and filing it there—as a basis for your continued contact with me despite my requests for you to stop.

Why would I ever want to have any friendly relationship with someone who thought it okay to do this to me?

You’re a cockroach.

You have a toxic personality.

You refuse to acknowledge my rejection.

You want peace and people to leave you alone, but you attack us first. You copy us and play victim. You change the story to benefit yourself. You gaslight us.

I want nothing to do with you.

Emails to TC

This is a screenshot of emails from the same person to demonstrate inconsistent back story relaying, including how she’s mentioned she doesn’t copy, but then her admitting she does: 

Screenshot of emails to TC

Where to from here?

This situation has ignited a few flames in me:

  1. I need to start writing about my autism again. I can’t separate it from myself, but I’ve had many instances wherein people misunderstand others’ and my autism completely. The trolls are better than ignorant bullies. If a bully is going to continue to read my blog and harass me, I might as well attempt to educate her no?
  2. I introduced, then failed to actually start, my #sistertips series. The point of it is to create tips/lessons about my current life experiences, because I had an epiphany one day: experiences are more alike to each age than we think—from hardcore, modern-day bullies to fearing for the future. So I’ll be getting on that. I can always redo the graphics after I’ve a new laptop. My perfectionist senses will just have to deal.
  1. This is false: An agreement was made in 2012, but TC did not break it, as she has never once commented on this person’s blog.

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