I am mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted.
I still cannot sleep. I kind of wish I could be a zombie for a few days – not the one where I am forcing myself to do things, but the kind of zombie that has the freedom to just be lazy or something. But I’d rather be a zombie with friends… a friend, at least. A friend offline rather than online, too, so I could actually hang out with said friend (who just so happens to be imaginary right now, unfortunately).
It’s not like it’s easy for me to make friends, either, though. Online it is much, much easier simply because I’m typing out the words rather than stumbling all over them. I just want an offline buddy who can hold me when I need it and hug me and maybe even curl up on the couch and watch a movie or something of the sort. Maybe later on said friend could be more than a friend; maybe from the start said friend would already be a potential boyfriend – aren’t they all potential boyfriends in the end? By the way, I’m talking about a guy friend (in case you were/are wondering).
I had wanted to make a list of 5 things I like about myself everyday for one month. A person on the Crisis Hotline suggested it as a way to bring up my confidence and self-esteem. Yeah, you read it right, but I’ll spell it out for you anyway: I’m using up all of my minutes just to speak to someone on the Crisis Hotline. It’s never really the same person, but if it was then they’d most likely not remember me. I don’t know if you have met me yet, but I’m not exactly the most memorable person out there. x.x
Moving on, I have officially decided that I am socially awkward, AKA a spazz. It is one hundred percent unintentional, and if I could control it then I promise that I definitely would.