How To Get Hacked

Rather than being “bossy” and telling people what NOT to do to NOT get hacked, I’m just going to tell you some ways you can get hacked. I mean, it’s quite helpful, I think… If you want to get hacked, that is…

  1. If you haven’t changed your password recently, and you let someone who knows that password go into your stuff, piss them off. Just do it. I don’t know, maybe they’ll want revenge and hack you and screw up all of your stuff.
  2. Use the same password. FOR EVERYTHING.
  3. Use something that’s common as your password, but make sure it’s common enough that it’s recognized as strong, because when it’s common and strong, it must be either strongly common or commonly strong; I haven’t figured out which yet, but maybe you can.
  4. Hint at what your password may be on your blogs, on social media networks, on everywhere.
  5. Keep plugins you’re not using deactivated and on your website, even though that increases the easibility1 of hackers who want to hack you.
  6. Use old and outdated themes and plugins, because they may have loopholes and make it easier for hackers to hack you.
  7. Don’t install a security plugin like Better WP Security and set it up. I did this, and I haven’t been hacked in so long. Also, don’t pay attention to the log in attempts and have your host block the IP addresses. If you do, you’ll be less likely to get hacked.2
  8. Don’t research your plugins first. Plugins like Contact Form 7 that were once safe a year or so ago now have reports stating their websites were hacked soon after updating. I haven’t used it since last summer, because I was hacked immediately after updating this plugin. Its CAPTCHA plugin that is also needed is easily hackable as well.
  9. Don’t keep a backup of your site frequently in case anything happens. Otherwise, you’ll actually have something to restore it to!
  10. Don’t try to secure your WordPress even though ANY WordPress installation is vulnerable even with a security plugin. Anything you do to prevent a hacking can still backfire – I mean, the Titanic still sank… Some hacker may have an iceberg that causes your site to sink.

And that’s all.

For those of you who did not/cannot understand that everything above this paragraph is complete sarcasm, it’s not my fault if you take my tips seriously. For some reason, being serious doesn’t seem to get through to some people. -.-

I do secure people’s sites, but I no longer do it for free. (Sorry, too many people undid what I did and then told me I screwed up their site!)

  1. This, my friends, is a Lizaism. If my dad had made it, it would be a Jonathanism. #insidejoke #familything
  2. And why would you want that?!

Sorry, but comments are closed on this post.

Comments on this post

Robin’s gravatar

#4 seems like it would be a very obvious thing to not do…but it wouldn’t surprise me if you see a lot of it.

Ana’s gravatar

Hahaha, this post is amazing. It’s so amusing, but I really have to thank you for the tips! Of course I know it’s sarcasm 😛 Because of your tip, I have installed the Better WP Security plugin, yay!

Liza’s gravatar

🙂 In that case, the most important parts on the dashboard list of the plugin to do are:

1 through 7
You can do 8 &/or 9 if you want. :p I didn’t.
10, 13, 14, 17
16 can be undone; I set it up when I’m going to be away/don’t need to edit anything.

:] I leave a lot of the blue ones undone because they make conflict with my themes & plugins. :L

Krystal’s gravatar

Number 2 is extremely common. I’m pretty sure 90% of internet users out there have the same password for everything. It is the easier method because there’s no way for us to remember all the passwords to all the 100s of sites we’ve signed up to.

Liza’s gravatar

Right? I have a difficult time coming up with new ones. I should probably start writing them down, but I get scared I’ll lose those, too. p: Although my forum passwords &am[; TCG passwords are always they same. :3

Manda’s gravatar

Definitely #5. I got hacked once because of an outdated plugin that I thought I had deleted, but turns out I hadn’t. 🙁

Trisha’s gravatar

Oh my god this is hilarious! I make sure that I back everything up for this very reason. Last time I was hacked (it was 5 years ago) I lost EVERYTHING, and backed up NOTHING. So now I back up my site every week just to be sure, and I keep multiple copies too just in case my hard drive crashes or something. 🙂

Nancy’s gravatar

I like how you’re taking a different approach in this guide with reverse psychology.

I agree with all of them, except number 5 concerns me. I thought it’s when you’re not using plugins that are activated and kept that makes you vulnerable. Otherwise, those are pretty simple ways on how to get hacked.

It sucks how people blamed you for their site problems when they reversed the changes done for security. But then again, that happens when people can’t take responsibility. I really don’t understand what’s so hard in Googling “How to secure my site” and doing it themselves rather than asking others.

Liza’s gravatar

For number five, yes. It’s that, too. :p

Yeah, now I have about 300-400 words of [I guess it’s called] an online contract they have to agree to before I do it. It’s basically terms of service.

Carrie’s gravatar

Pretty good post! I’ve actually been a little freaked about getting hacked… I haven’t but a lot of people have. I need security measures for our business website.. Especially since there is no time for hackers — a lot of business people will be visiting our website.

Hiro’s gravatar

Maybe when someone bothers to try to hack my site, I’ll take it as a status symbol… 😛

Karen’s gravatar

I havent gotten hacked before – not saying I want to.
But things I do (that I shouldn’t) is have the [edited for privacy] – should i be saying it here?
However, I tend to use little plugins, and I only use plugin that have (almost) 5 stars. If it’s 5 stars, it means its good and safe right? /lies-to-self

Liza’s gravatar

Just in case, I edited it out. :3

Karen’s gravatar

hehe thank you!! 😀

Latrina McNeill’s gravatar

Hah! Brilliant post — and sadly, a lot of people do MOST of those on your list. I will admit I suffered from #5 before…

Cat’s gravatar

Do people really hint at their passwords on public places? That’s pretty bad! Fortunately, I use several different passwords. The downside is I forget which one I set, and sometimes I get locked out from trying too many times, haha.

I’ve been hacked before, but it was because my PHP code wasn’t very secure. I learned my mistake from that, and write better code now (I think).

Meaghan’s gravatar

This post is bomb! I will definitely be following that advice. :3
This post is witty & made me chuckle at certain bits haha.

Stephanie’s gravatar

*sigh* It’s amazing how technically illiterate some people our age are. My friend used to help people not get hacked as well, and she had to deal with all the same issues that you dealt with!

One thing that I’m surprised that you didn’t mention is making sure that your login uses HTTPS instead of HTTP ( As a general rule, you should never enter a password or any other information that you care (credit cards) about over HTTP. So yes, always use a different password than your email and bank and etc than the insecure forums.

Liza’s gravatar

But for SSL, you have to buy that. :p