In my shoes…

I watched If You Really Knew Me last night. I’ll going to do something similar when it comes to sharing my personal story. I hope this goes swell.

If you could step into my shoes you would see that I have this passion, this dream, that I’m too afraid to share with my family members. I don’t think they would understand. But I don’t want to talk to them about it or even try to help them understand.

If you could step into my shoes you would see that I’ve lost so many of my friends after graduation not because of distance and life after high school, but because I am a Christian and they don’t “want to hear me preach to them about how what they do is not right”. It hurts. In high school I tried my best to separate myself from that, but now I can’t because I know that what I was doing wasn’t fair to myself. Why should I have to censor myself just so people will like me?

If you could step into my shoes you would see that I’m actually bright and can be pretty loud. I’m not all shy and quiet and such.

If you could step into my shoes you would see that it isn’t the little things that bother me, it’s their meaning and the hate behind those little things.

If you could step into my shoes you would see that I really do want a job, but I want my family to support my decision for my goals and wants for school – how I want them to understand, how I want them to trust me. What if I never went back to school? I feel like I have to, and with that feeling, it’s making me not want to; it’s making me not care.

If you could step into my shoes you would see that I don’t just want a job to make my family happy. I want one so that I can start saving up for an apartment and hopefully get the white car fixed or get a new car so that I can move out and stop feeling so trapped and suffocated.

If you could step into my shoes you would see that blogging keeps me sane. For me, it is free therapy. That while that I did not blog I felt like I was going to explode; I felt like I was alone. Blogging helps me know that I’m not alone in what goes on in my life. It lets me know that everything is going to be okay. It isn’t an addiction; it is an escape. The more that I blog just shows how much more I need to share and see what others say. In a way, the previous sentence sounds weird. But I guess you would have to step into my shoes to understand it – if you don’t already.

If you could step into my shoes you would see that I am only trying to fit in.


What’s it like in your shoes?

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Comments on this post

Jenny’s gravatar

I know what I said, and you knew what I said, and nothing I said had anything to do with Christianity itself, but the hypocrisy of some of it’s people that say one thing and yet do another. Please- tell me exactly what was wrong with that FACT because you never clarified. Is that not the truth? Some followers of a religion contradict themselves. I’ve never said all Christians are hypocrites, Liz. Let me quote myself:

“Especially all of you religious bums who go around and talk about the ‘Lord’ and yet your actions do not reflect your own fuckin religion.”

I challenge EVERYBODY to point out what is wrong with that statement, and maybe we can go from there. It’s really a normal thing nowadays. A lot of people tend to contradict themselves, and I was specifically pointing out those who are religious.

Once upon a time, I was Catholic- raised in a Catholic school and was once offended by blasphemous comments, myself. I just grew up to have different opinions and mindset. However, I don’t think that piece of information is anything relevant because you already formed your opinion of me from baseless accusations.

If I were to bring this issue up to anybody, they would agree. You totally misconstrued what I really meant, and now you’re getting emotional over it and it’s silly.

Again, I know what I meant and it had nothing to do with bashing Christianity. It wasn’t even a post about religion, but somehow you magnified one sentence from a whole post and focused on that.

Liz’s gravatar

But you’ve completely missed the point of my comment, and trust me – my post today isn’t about you, it’s something I planned to write last night.

[…] wrote a comment on Liz’s post), and it’s awaiting moderation. But just in case it would not ever see the light of day, I […]

Liz’s gravatar

This is why I normally DON’T comment/read/visit blogs by people 18-.

Jenny’s gravatar

Liz- you said my post “set you off” somehow. YOU totally misunderstood what I meant, not me. The point you were trying to make was that everybody can be hypocrites, and THAT in of itself is “missing the point”. Like I said, you magnified a tiny comment without actually reading the post, and then miscomprehended what I tried to say. Maybe it was how I worded it. But still, what was so offensive about what I said? Do you or don’t you agree that some religious people can be contradictory? It was such a simple statement and I DEFINITELY did not expect to offend people. I don’t really care to, either.

Liz’s gravatar

I didn’t misunderstand; you’re blowing this way out of porportion. If you were someone who read my blogs frequently, or knew me just. I don’t know how to explain it. Don’t take everything so literally. Oye. Anyways, maybe we can move on from this. I’m sorry if you feel like I blew up on you, or whatever. I don’t understand why you made some sort of contest out of it, but maybe that’s what high school was like, so I’ll let that go.

Tiffany’s gravatar

yea i understand. haha i was a myspace site too at first. Actually my myspace was this name. yea i had a few domains before but went back to my first name haha. Gotta love your roots!

yea myspace = drama. I am not really friends with them anymore. but friends with the people I met on the domain 😀

nancy’s gravatar

YAY! :D! I have added you as well ^_^ :O! I love doing applications. Even if it isnt for me :P. Im just.. an odd lover :P. Believe in yourself and you shall. Prevail. :D! This reminds me of the countless times when I put wrong answers on questions that I dont know answers to. Like... When I couldnt answer something, i just write. “yes.” -______-.

If I can step into your shoes, I would see the world unfolding its lovely secrets to me. And the future is bright with shining rays of light. With willpower, you will conquer your blockades. 🙂

My shoes… Right now… Is ripped. Well, one of them is :P! My favorite pair :'(..

But metaphorically or something speaking, you would be constantly stressed out. Or feeling pressured for something. SUUUCKS. But it`ll pass by.

My blog is somewhat of a route for freedom of stress. But people. LIKE LAME KIDS in person might read whats going on with me and use it against me somehow :O!

Sara’s gravatar

It is hard to stay true to who you are, but it sounds like that’s what you’re trying to do. It seems to me that you’re at the train station — you’re ready to to take an important trip, but you’re still waiting for the train and the waiting makes you a bit uncertain.

I have been in your shoes…or better said, shoes like yours. I am probably older than your parents and have two daughters, one who is 31 and the other 27. But I also remember the time when I waiting for the life train, wondering where it would take me.

Be patient. Your train will arrive and you will get on. You will also get off and on many times in your life, but keep your heart open, don’t let fear stop you, and follow your beliefs. There will be many adventures while you walk in your shoes:~)