In my shoes…
I watched If You Really Knew Me last night. I’ll going to do something similar when it comes to sharing my personal story. I hope this goes swell.
If you could step into my shoes you would see that I have this passion, this dream, that I’m too afraid to share with my family members. I don’t think they would understand. But I don’t want to talk to them about it or even try to help them understand.
If you could step into my shoes you would see that I’ve lost so many of my friends after graduation not because of distance and life after high school, but because I am a Christian and they don’t “want to hear me preach to them about how what they do is not right”. It hurts. In high school I tried my best to separate myself from that, but now I can’t because I know that what I was doing wasn’t fair to myself. Why should I have to censor myself just so people will like me?
If you could step into my shoes you would see that I’m actually bright and can be pretty loud. I’m not all shy and quiet and such.
If you could step into my shoes you would see that it isn’t the little things that bother me, it’s their meaning and the hate behind those little things.
If you could step into my shoes you would see that I really do want a job, but I want my family to support my decision for my goals and wants for school – how I want them to understand, how I want them to trust me. What if I never went back to school? I feel like I have to, and with that feeling, it’s making me not want to; it’s making me not care.
If you could step into my shoes you would see that I don’t just want a job to make my family happy. I want one so that I can start saving up for an apartment and hopefully get the white car fixed or get a new car so that I can move out and stop feeling so trapped and suffocated.
If you could step into my shoes you would see that blogging keeps me sane. For me, it is free therapy. That while that I did not blog I felt like I was going to explode; I felt like I was alone. Blogging helps me know that I’m not alone in what goes on in my life. It lets me know that everything is going to be okay. It isn’t an addiction; it is an escape. The more that I blog just shows how much more I need to share and see what others say. In a way, the previous sentence sounds weird. But I guess you would have to step into my shoes to understand it – if you don’t already.
If you could step into my shoes you would see that I am only trying to fit in.