Introverted Me

Introverts UniteI’ve seen the Introverts Unite campaign floating around for a while. When it first was posted last year, I knew that I needed to do it. Actually doing this never got done, or we can just say that I forgot about it until this year, a few days before this day1. I highly doubt this will come off as a shock to anyone, but if it does happen to, then now you’ll know.

I’m probably one of the worst examples of an introvert, though, so for a while I’ve been putting this post off. Some people wonder if introversion is something having to do with Aspies, and vice versa. I don’t believe that it does. And although I have a distaste for people in general, that’s not what introversion to me is.

I’m also depressed, so for a lot of people, the “best” thing for me is to be with people. Other people tell me that this is a phase.

I’m an introvert. I’ve always been an introvert.

Just because I’m an introvert doesn’t mean…

…I’m avoiding you and/or I’m antisocial. I enjoy being alone, and that’s okay. Sometimes, I need more time away from people, even if I haven’t spent any time with people the entire day. I have the most energy when I am not around many people. Thus, I steer clear of parties as often as possible, and get together events exhaust me as well.

…I’m a bookworm. I used to read a lot in middle school, but I read all of the books my journalism/seventh grade homeroom teacher had2, and unless I find a book I really love, I dislike reading now. I would read a new book everyday, sometimes up to three books. I think of myself as more of a writer these days, because I now prefer to write my own ending and make my own cliff hangers.

…I’m shy. Although I’ll say I’m shy, I don’t really think of myself as such. It’s just something that is easier for me to say than to explain that I prefer to think things through and write it out instead. I stuttered a lot as a kid, and I would always get in trouble for it — either at home or at school. I like to write out my thoughts more than speak them. More often than not, I find myself wishing I was deaf, because it feels like I’d at least have a reason to not have to speak. Not speaking results in no stuttering. I’m not shy; I’m merely terrified you’ll make fun of me for stuttering and/or cut me off whilst I’m trying to talk.

…I’m cold and arrogant. I’m not heartless. I do have a heart, I’m just so not the kind of person you should cry on.

…I never go anywhere. I do go places, but I’m more likely to go somewhere that fits my interests if I can help it. I mean, I went to the ER and the 12th Annual Butterfly Festival this year. See? I go places!

…I’m fragile. Last year, I read a post on Datingish that made me feel as if the woman sought her girlfriend and other introverts to be fragile. I’m sensitive and vulnerable at times, but who isn’t? I’m not this dainty, soft-spoken mouse that needs protection from a hawk.

…I’m forever alone. I know many introverts who have partners. I promise my singleness has nothing to do with my introversion. If I happen to claim it does later on, then so be it. However, so many guys are just ridiculous.

…I’m a genius. So I was quiet in class. I’m as smart as the average student at most school-related things. It pisses me off when people assume I’ll go far because I was the quietest classmate in class. Chances are I was doodling and/or thinking about something else just so I wouldn’t fall asleep on my desk. After all, falling asleep in school has always been a fear for me.

…I have a secret life you don’t know about. I mean, I guess I do, but blogging as a secret life doesn’t seem like the super-cool-secret-spy secret life you seem to be imagining in your head.

…I need to speak louder. Do I really need to elaborate? Maybe I don’t want to speak loudly for a reason.

…I don’t have friends. This one is complicated. It’s not that I don’t have friends, it’s just that everyone offline stabs me in the back at some point or another, and then everything changes. I use “friends” interchangeably, referring to people on Facebook as my “friends”, even though they consist of family members, people I went to school/church with and/or people that my family want me to know, and therefore I befriended out of niceness. P.S. Yes, I know over 200 people. I cleaned it out last year, so it decreased by 200. I don’t add/accept people I don’t know. It is possible to know that many people if you’ve moved and lived where I have.

  1. Because this is a scheduled post for reasons I will reveal after the weekend!
  2. She allowed her students to “check out” her own books she had bought.

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Comments on this post

Georgie’s gravatar

Thanks for tackling these common assumptions. I wasn’t whether I classified as mostly an introvert or extrovert, because I can be quite outgoing and loud and very social. However, I enjoy my own company. I want to be alone a lot, and after going out and being around people I need to be alone. I thrive off those alone-times when I’m on the train. I may be surrounded by people but I can sit, mind my own business, be in my own thoughts.

I used to be shy, but I’m not that shy anymore. I am, unlike you, a lover of books. I’m not antisocial, though people accuse me of being so when I reject a night out. Sometimes I’m just not in the mood, or I’ve been out enough that week, or I want to be by myself.

A friend of mine had a theory that you can only really get to know less than fifty people in your life. Other people will be forgotten and you won’t maintain contact with them, and there will be less than fifty who you’ll actually remember by the time you’re old and grey. If I unfollowed people on Twitter who I didn’t talk to regularly, or didn’t consider friends, by golly, I’d be kicking off about 200 too. :/

Danielle’s gravatar

Hi, I like your blog! I also admire you for your causes, and your determination for them. ^^;

Anyway, I’m not exactly an introvert – more of an in-between – but I understand what you’re saying. These stereotypes are crazy and have affected the way some of my friends deal with me. What I usually do is just talk less about it, and do my best to get along.

And, yay for personal space! It enhances my ability to think. I need amounts of it everyday.

Jenny’s gravatar

I’m an introvert too, although a very different kind to you. Closet introvert. Too introverted to even let most people figure out I’m introverted. I don’t want that kind of attention. The actual thought of people knowing me as “the weird girl who doesn’t like anybody” scares me enough to not. So I’ve developed into somebody who enjoys being social and enjoys being alone by turn- like a persona thing. I really, genuinely enjoy the company of my friends, meeting new people, parties, etc, because I worked on it and developed into such a person. But at my core, I still far prefer my own company and will spend summer vacations and things working on my own, however, much I “practice” being social. To be honest, I don’t see the point of identifying oneself as either “introvert” or “extrovert”. It’s all a sliding scale and we’re not as limited by the definitions as it at first seems. I think it’s big of you to know what you are comfortable with and what you just aren’t. It takes a lot of insight to write this blog. This is the sort of blog, I would never write. I’m not a person who shares deep feelings about myself.

Kay’s gravatar

Great list!
There’s a statement in the bookworm bullet I don’t quite follow. …”I dislike reading now. I read it a lot.”

Liz’s gravatar

@Kay, I fixed the statement! It was a typo.

Amanda’s gravatar

I’ve always been an introvert, too. I absolutely hate being at social gatherings and such – it makes me so uncomfortable and I always just want to go home. Although, I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about me as an introvert in general. Glad you shared this! : ) I feel like I need to do something like this so I can really figure it out, but knowing me I’ll probably put it off to no end. x_x

Cassie’s gravatar

Great post – so glad you joined in! I like how honest you are about your childhood and depression. It’s healthy to be talking about those things, yet a lot of people have a hard time bringing them up.

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