I’ve silently let some domains go recently. I had to drop a beloved one in February, but…I’m oddly fine with that? I couldn’t afford to renew it at the time, because I had other things I needed to worry about, and…I feel fine. Someone else with the time and resources can take it over now, should they wish to. And I’m fine. I do miss it, though.
But I’ve noticed a problem: once I’m past the emotional attachment, I have to consider the technical attachment—the emails. At the time, they all seemed really necessary. I had an email addiction. Instead of changing emails between live.ca (it was difficult to get that one even though I’m in Texas), outlook.com, love.com and gmail.com, I began switching between my domains. Cleaning them out and changing my account information to my main email account with Gmail has been, well, tedious—so much so that I renewed lizalawson.com, even though I didn’t want to, for another year.
I don’t even understand my logic anymore. Why did I think it would be a good idea to use my domain email for even doctors’ offices? I thought I’d have them for forever. But I knew I secretly hated them, so why did I still think I’d have them forever? Because my abuser bought an old domain and tried to make me look bad. So I decided I couldn’t let them expire.
But I don’t care anymore. I’m not going to waste my money on things I neither need nor want solely to keep someone else from wasting their time and money.
I just don’t care anymore. I’ve been trying to choose my battles more, and I’ve realised how little I actually want to fight in this department. I’m so tired of fighting. I’m ending the cycle; I want to end the cycle. It’s another reason I want to adopt; on my end, my mother’s bloodline will end. But I digress.
If I could go back, I’d tell my younger self not to sign up for all the things and not to use emails at a domain I’m unlikely to actually keep for a long time. Really, who needs all these email accounts? I could have made folders instead of email accounts for each different thing. I understand needing separate TCG email accounts, but separate email accounts for personal emails vs. subscription emails is too much. I don’t even read them.