Life Update #2

I’ve been more tired than usual lately. I’m actually writing this post while I’m tired. However, it’s not because I’ve deliberately been staying up late; my nightmares are back.

And I can’t really sleep well.

And I wake up a lot.

And then I also have my allergies.

I mean, I guess that the allergy mess gets worse before it gets better, right? Unfortunately, sniffling more causes my chest to begin to hurt after a while. I’m not talking about the mild pain when breathing really hot or really cold air — I’m talking about the chest pain that is similar to the chest pain felt whilst wheezing, but more similar to the pain felt after eating nuts1. Thankfully my doctor prescribed Albuterol for me, so I have that to use if it gets to be unbearable.

And overall, I’ve just had a terrible headache lately. Honestly, I’m hardly a fan.

My previous post discussed how I’d be brainstorming for a domain name other than dehlu.org. Screw that. Since I need one for hosting anyway, why not just keep it? It’s merely 5 characters, 8 characters including the extension. It’s short. Do you know how difficult it is to think of a short domain name that isn’t taken? I still have no idea as to HOW I was lucky enough to snag ously.me. Thus far, I’ve merely received two offers to buy it. Sorry, I’ve invested way too much in that domain name (considering the $20 renewal fees!) the past two years to sell it to anyone for $50. It’s just not worth it, especially when it’s so flexible and short. Plus, it makes a nice URL shortener.

Anyway, I decided to take a more professional route and buy my name. Not “Sarah”2, but Liza Lawson. It’s really nice, because it feels more official than just going by Liza on here and by a few people offline. Maybe people will reconsider and see how important it is to me.

The nightmares began soon after I posted my story. I almost wasn’t going to post it, because lard followed me on Twitter for about an hour. I should have not tweeted anything about it when it happened, because eventually he [hopefully] would have realized that it wasn’t a good idea. I mean, how was he to know that I wouldn’t follow him so I could DM him and yell at him via the WWW? Too bad I’m much too mature for that. If anything I do can be seen as a threat, I think it’s my blog. My story wasn’t easy to write, and I was rather worried about publishing it. It needed to be posted, though. It felt nice to have finally been able to share it with the world, even if only a few people read and commented on it. I understand that not everyone can read about things like that in as much detail. For me, it was more triggering to write it than it was to proofread it for errors. But now it’s out, and now I’ve shared it. And I’ve launched Abuse Aloud.

It’s scary, and I know I’m going to piss some people off at some point. However, I tweeted this:

[blackbirdpie url=https://twitter.com/abusealoud/status/306075894554959872]

I’ve already been told that it’s a “bad idea” — that I’m only going to stir up trouble3. Fortunately, I received an unexpected pick me up:

[blackbirdpie url=https://twitter.com/coachgladyscruz/status/306409635030646784]

I was expecting the Twitter for AA to start roughly like HF’s did, but as of yesterday AA had 13 followers other than myself (from my account and @hopefadesorg). NCADD National follows me. Although it’s probably little, it’s a big organization so it’s important to me. I wasn’t even following them beforehand.

There are even buttons available for AA. 🙂 I hope to add more buttons in the future. :3

Regarding other sitely matters, I have finally added img {max-width: 100%;} to my theme’s CSS after being too lazy, which means my images are now fluid and match my fluid theme. If you use IE, it won’t work.

…If you use IE still, is being a caveman really like those commercials from a year or so ago?

P.S. If I die, please, someone take over my causes. 😡

  1. I have a nut allergy.
  2. Which has been unavailable for over ten years, by the way. It’s just parked. For over ten years.
  3. Trouble needs to happen, then. This is something I’ve told so many I’d fight about one day, and I’m finally doing it.

Sorry, but comments are closed on this post.

Comments on this post

Robin’s gravatar

I hope you feel better soon. 🙁

Melissa’s gravatar

I really hope you feel better soon 🙁 Especially since you can’t sleep well, sleep is important! Hope that those nightmares will go away soon.

Good luck with your project, I tweeted about it and followed your project. I also think it’s a good thing you’ve started this project.

Hiro’s gravatar

Hope something comes up that can alleviate your health pains. 🙁

It was really rewarding to me when large names and organizations started following my public twitter account or the AVMalformation twitter account, especially when I wasn’t following them first.
I have a few organizations that follow me/I follow that I could give you that may be good places for that account to follow, because they deal with Mental Health and such. Here’s the list of support/awareness organizations I follow, just for reference: https://twitter.com/xhiroxhiro/awareness-and-support/members
Good luck with your project! Don’t mind about people who don’t want you to “stir things up.” Those are the people that are perpetrating this culture of silence for victims, and making it more difficult for people to get help they need.

Tiff’s gravatar

I haven’t read your story, but I think I will get around to it this weekend or so. I don’t know what half of this blog means, but it seems that after piecing some of it together, you have started up quite an amazing organization. I think that you shouldn’t be slammed for it because…abuse should be known. Thank you for being a voice. Although I myself have never been the subject of child abuse, millions are & the fact that you’re trying to do something about it is so admirable. Don’t let people tell you otherwise. You’re trying to save & help people. What in the world are you stirring but a place for guidance & help?? I’m confused by how this could be a bad thing.

Hopefully you feel better too. Nightmares are an easy fix. Just try meditating before you sleep or what I like to call, fake meditating. You pretty much try to empty your mind while you lay in bed & focus on your breathing. If you have too many thoughts popping up in your head, just think of yourself in the most relaxed place you could possibly be whether it’s right there in your bedroom or out in a field near running water. Or think of positive things before you sleep. De-stress!

Also, on domain names, it helps if you pick an easy to spell & remember short name. I have no idea what dehlu is so that might be difficult for people to remember. You should pick something that is timeless. I kind of regret my other really longgggg domain name, but meh, I’m not profiting off it haha.

Liza’s gravatar

Nightmares aren’t easy to fix; they’re PTSD-related. 😡 Thank you, though. :]

Sara’s gravatar

Liza,

I am very honored to know you and so proud of what you’ve done. You have saved yourself and that’s not easy to do, especially given the circumstances. I love that you’re listening to your “self” now and not the others who can’t see your beauty; the inner child blossoming as you care for her.

Abuse Aloud is a wonderful idea. Telling your story pulls you away from the the weight of the dark secrets. It opens the window and let light in. I hope others will follow your example.

Tran’s gravatar

Nightmares are absolutely terrible! Why would our own mind do that to us? I don’t have nightmares often but I did a few weeks ago and I woke up with my heart racing – it was not good. I was afraid to fall back asleep.

I hope everything improves for you, Liz.

Leanne’s gravatar

I think it’s very inspiring for you to start something like this. Everything is always going to have criticism but at the end of the day you’re doing something to better other people’s lives.

Christine’s gravatar

Wow, you are doing something truly amazing with the launch of your new website. I think that the best way to address sensitive and often times, upsetting topics like abuse are to get loud about it. I shared it on my personal Facebook wall and followed AA on Twitter as well. Hope I can help get the word out.

On another note, I really hope you start feeling better soon. Take care of yourself and when the negativity and the nightmares occur maybe thinking about all of the amazing things you are doing for other victims will help to put them to ease. *hugs*

Amanda’s gravatar

It’s absolutely amazing what you’re doing. I support you 100%. There will always be people who don’t like things, but it’s not really their choice to make whether or not it exists.

Georgie’s gravatar

Actually, max-width works in IE8 and up 🙂

I really love what you’ve done with AA. It seems like a very big deal that NCADD is following you — you should be proud of that and don’t be afraid of being proud either. All the best for AA and getting it out there.

Denise’s gravatar

Wow, I’m shocked reading about this blogpost. I’m going to add the banner from Abuse Aloud on my website soon. I hope this will help to get this project big! 🙂

I hope you feel better soon. I dream alot, and also have alot of nightmares. Some are really scary, others not so scary… Try to create your own dream: http://www.wikihow.com/Lucid-Dream
I’ve never tried it, but maybe it helps for you to dream other things then having nightmares! I hope this helps! Goodluck.

Cat’s gravatar

I hope you feel better soon and will be able to get some rest!

I think it’s great that you’ve launched Abuse Aloud, and I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all. Child abuse is an issue that needs to be heard and dealt with. Good luck with it! I hope it’ll get more and more attention!