The post titled “Words Hurt” was an unfinished scheduled post that I wrote a few days ago and completely forgot about. D:
I won’t be writing anymore posts and “scheduling them” for a later date because I’ll just end up forgetting them.
You know that dream people talk about having with them being in school and only in their underwear? That’s how I felt when I accidentally hit “Enter” after typing in “s” by mistake, meaning to type “d” and go to Dashes. I felt like I was standing before my classmates reading an essay I hadn’t even written, dressed in only my undergarments, and I still feel so terribly sick. It’s quite a horrendous feeling, and I hate feeling it. I feel it when I’m about to drive someplace, when I’m dressed in something and have this epiphany that it probably looks stupid and/or any other person could pull it off, when I’m being rushed even though two minutes ago someone told me I had ten minutes left1…
So I made it
private password protected. Maybe it was finished, I don’t know. But the fact that it was posted right now, during this month, this season, this… It wasn’t the right time. And because of it I feel extremely sick.
On other note, I’m feeling extremely exhausted. I now feel sicker than I felt earlier; it’s like the birth control sick feeling has mixed in with that anxiety sick feeling thing, and I really think I’m going to puke before it’s the usual “time to wake up”. I gotta pack, quickly, and I’m running out of time. Tonight I’m going to do a lot. Or… something.
I text messaged my dad ‘yesterday’2 about meeting me Saturday. Earlyish. I need to remember to stop and get some gas from the Walmart in Terrell. I figured it’d probably be best. …Unless Danielle3 has work that day, I remember to ask her, and she tells me, and it’s much more than the gas closer to the highway, even with a gift card (with a gift card, you get 3 cents off gas per gallon). The November/December 2011 10 cent discount was much better… I saved a lot. It was really nice. -.- Now gas is practically on the peak of FOUR BUCKS. Oh geesh, I wonder what it’s like in the big city where I’m going, or ‘civilization’, as Charan called it. Hopefully it isn’t too bad… O:
Blah. I’m just gonna stuff my clothes into bags and some things I really want to have on me in some boxes, and the rest will go to storage – which will be alright until the house sells (and I’ll have to figure out something to do with it then). Yes, yes, I’m sorta procrastinating. But I haven’t much time to look through all of my junk, so why just hold onto things I still have to look through by taking them with me to Garland – to look through them there? Yeah, no thanks. I’d rather look through everything later. When I picture it in my head, I actually don’t have a whole lot of junk to pack, it’s just the putting it into boxes and whatnot that I’m all ASDFGHJKL;’ about and definitely do not favor doing.
[spoiler /Hello/ /Close/]
I’m thinking about having an Avon contest thing later on. Most likely not anytime real soon or anything like that, but later on. It’d include the current brochure/sample pack (the time the winner is chosen) and some kind of gift selection/thing. I can’t remember what those dealies are called right now.[/spoiler]
Honestly, I can’t think so much. I hate this feeling. I should probably sleep and spend Thursday day and Friday day doing a packing ‘drive’, where I just packpackpack, but I’m tired of it all. I wanna get it done, dammit.