How have you been? If you have not been following my life via mymelodies.org, then you [most likely] don’t know that I’m trying my best to get happy again. It’s actually a difficult process for me. It’s really hard for me to be happy and not worry about how my happiness is affecting others. I have, however, come to realize that I can fake it pretty well. No one at work has acted like they’ve noticed how I’m not happy/as happy as I was when I first started out. As far as 6birds goes, I totally forgot how huge/horrendous of a mess the site was in the categories/tags department. No, I will not be fixing this. The tags and categories can just … stay as they are. And I don’t know what I will be using My Melodies for. Or Sum Pi… The whole ‘having a maths blog’ lost its enthusiasm when I fell back into this depressed state I am currently in, hence the reason it’s a crappy food blog1.
More about 6birds, Kya made the theme. Did you really think I could make something like this? Pft. That’s a laugh!
As far as the blogging thing goes…
I understand my blogs aren’t the most interesting to read. I never said you had to read them. If I gave you the link, it isn’t anything personal. You don’t actually have to come here and read about my boring life. However, what you read is what you get. The things on here are really real – I’ve really experienced them. Guest blogs are written by real guests (like Ashley), and I can only hope that they are written as nonfiction rather than fiction.
When I say that 6birds is my ‘life’, it kind of really is because it has been with me for a long time, even if I no longer have the blogs from before I started over (which I regret, believe me).
I have my insecurities, and even more personal problems, and I share them here because they are real. I’m not going to take something that I write on here about my life down because a friend and/or family member wants me to. I really only write about these things because maybe, just maybe, I can help someone who can relate – or even someone who cannot relate at all.
My blog is my blog, and I’m going to blog as often as I want to, whenever I want to, however I want to and whatever I want to. If you don’t like something, then don’t read it. No one ever said you had/have to read it. And if/when you do, it’s highly possible that you will read something that ticks you off and/or flat out disgusts you. I don’t care. I’m so sick and tired of people telling me what I can and cannot do – I’m tired of having to hide everything in my life, when sharing it via blogging is the one thing that has always helped me. I’d rather family members ticked off at me because of something that I posted on my blog than something I did offline. Blogging is my vent, and it doesn’t cost me as much per year as counseling would. …Not that I trust counselors, anyway. Counselors/therapists/etc. failed me too much in my past. They also always put things into my head that were the complete opposite of what I said, and/or took things so wrong and/or blew them up into something even worse, and when I actually cried for help they merely shrugged it off. Given that, why the hell should I trust a counselor/therapist/etc.? “This one will be different.” Shut up, because NO, they WON’T.
My posts are going to be quite lengthy now… I can’t tell you an estimate on the word count because I’m quite certain it will vary from time to time/post to post. Personally, I don’t really thing the length matters, but that’s just me.
You may also find me on mymelodies.org and seekliza.me. I doubt I will renew beefly.me. When the time for it comes, then I’ll decide.
- Not really crappy, more like a back up thing or whatever. ↩