Music is inspiring, but it doesn’t necessarily inspire me completely – just sometimes. I like to cut apart dances I watch on TV and in real life and try to do them myself. That’s the world I created. It consists of bits and pieces of dances and words and songs and stories and characteristics of the people I know… Trees surround the area, and then there are cats as well1. It’s quite lovely, and that is where I go for inspiration. I love it there, and I try to visit it each time before I blog, but it’s often quite difficult. I used to go there for testing and such.
In all honesty, I’m afraid of going to sleep. My dreams scare me. I seem to always have nightmares, and I cannot explain why. Taking antihistamines or Melatonin before bed – no matter when that day – only guarantees nightmares and intensifies them, which makes me not want to go to bed anytime soon. It’s quite scary to go to sleep and have a dream that’s really a nightmare that seems so much like reality. I have a fear of going to sleep because of it, even though I love sleeping. Sometimes I fear I won’t wake up from one someday. I mean, that could happen tonight; it could happen tomorrow night – or even next year.
Have you ever fallen asleep in class? I’ve always been so afraid to, but I’ll admit it’s almost happened once or twice before. I’m so afraid of falling asleep in class, because who knows what I will scream out – if I happen to scream anything at all? Who knows what I will say in my sleep or who will point to and stare and laugh at me, creating a crowd because of the crazy, freaked out faces I make whilst I sleep?
I really dislike remembering any of my dreams. I’m often so freaked out at them. That’s why I daydream. daydreaming makes my world go by so much smoother than it would if I didn’t daydream – if I relied only on what I dreamt about physically rather than mentally and what the dreams I dreamt (and still dream) meant, then I would most likely be crazy by now. I’m so glad that I don’t believe in dream meanings and whatnot, because I would be terrified of life itself.
This is why I have my world. It’s mine, and no one can touch it. I let some people in, and I keep a lot of people out. Have you ever tried to talk to me and it not work? I was most likely in my world merely lusting for an escape from my dreams – AKA my nightmares.
Georgina’s post inspired this entry.
It’s also the world I travel to before writing about things not related to blogging, but this doesn’t mean I don’t try to travel to my world before blogging, too.