Posts I wrote whilst away

I didn’t blog or tweet or mention anywhere that I’d be in the Kaufman county area until I was actually there because I didn’t want to jeopardize the chance of me being able to see my siblings on my mom’s side of the family. Of course, I ended up not to anyway because Pat was too sick to come. I ended up getting sick as well. I’m not sure if it was because I under the fan Saturday night when I was playing dominoes (breathing directly under a fan is not good for asthmatics at ALL) or if I got it from Grandmama (she’s sick as well). It’s currently the 26th of December, and I’m typing up a blog post to post when I return because I wish I could blog right now. I’m at Mimi’s house; I came here on Christmas day because Bebe needed to do laundry, and Shane was going back and forth between his room and the couch.

When I’m sick, I don’t want to have to care about anyone else but myself. Unfortunately, people want me to care about others/other things/etc. I don’t care. I’m not really sorry, either. You feel like shit, too? Okay. Sorry. Don’t try to make me feel like even more shit when I already feel like shit, because it’s only going to piss me off and put me in a horrible mood. I’m already in a horrible mood because I feel like shit. Try to make me feel shittier, and I’m going to get cranky.

Today, Shane was taken to the hospital by Mimi after going to the doctor. SO BLAH. I’m sporting a high fever and lounging around in the same shitty sickness I did last Christmas, and my cousin is in the hospital. And I don’t mean to sound rude, but all I really want to happen right now is for me to not be sick. I hate being sick. I hate medicine. I hate having to continue to take cough medicine (Mucinex, cough syrup, etc.) because after a while of taking it, my body starts to get all groggy-like, and I hate it. I’m talking about the chest-hurting-body-wobbly-overly-medicated-and-feeling-like-shit kind of groggy.

When I’m sick, I get to a point where I don’t care about fighting it anymore. It seems as though it would be easier to let it take its toll on me and for me to cough and cry and cough some more rather than taking medicine every. four. freaking. hours. It’s exhausting. Very exhausting. And it’s just this horrid, ongoing shit. I don’t want to be bothered to take more medicine. Can’t I just cough it out already? That seems more possible to do. Mucinex causes you to cough shit up. The cough syrup soothes your throat and stops you from coughing. …technically this equation equals an oxymoron, right? Or am I the only one who has been able to put this together?

Moving on, when I’m sick I also feel like I haven’t showered for a few days. It sucks. And this after taste of Mucinex? Yeah, that tastes like crap as well.

30 December

I’m bored. I’m sick, and I’m bored. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired. It’s exhausting. Now that my throat is no longer hurting, I have all of the horrible nose mess. My nose is so red and raw and just horrible-feeling. I know I wanted to go home so I could be in my comfort zone again, but I don’t want to leave Todd. He’s doing well, and he is so happy, but I really missed him. I love him so very much, and I’m really going to miss waking up with him asleep at the foot of my old bed, right next to my feet, just purring. I’m pretty sure he’ll miss me, too, because he’s followed me around since I arrived.

I’ll also miss this side of the family, because I do love them.

As far as technology (online-wise) goes, part of me misses it, and part of me does not. I have been mobile for some things, but for the other things that don’t allow mobile, I both miss and don’t miss it. With the TCG stuff, I could thankfully do some of that offline that I desperately needed to get done. The theme for 6birds was finished what feels like a long time ago, so I didn’t need to touch it. Other than that, I’ve been sick. Sick, sick, sick, sick, SICK.

I’ve slept during the dayish hours and stayed up during the nightish hours due to not breathing. In other words, I have been staying up as long as possible until I, unfortunately, crashed.

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Comments on this post

Robin’s gravatar

I hope you feel better soon. 🙁

Stephanie’s gravatar

You are a brave, brave girl for visiting your mom’s side of the family again. I’m pretty sure that your younger siblings miss you too (it’d be really weird if they didn’t love you back) and once they all grow up, you will definitely be able to see them again.

Unless you’re well again already, get well soon!