Regarding my previous post, maybe not.

My topic for my last entry is quite misleading to a major extreme considering the fact that food actually makes me sick – right now, as in nauseous – the majority of the time, especially since about March or April. I can read food blogs and such sometimes, but most times it just makes me sick. Last night I discovered exactly what this cyst crap feels like – it hurts to feel anything. Like, you come across some news story that inspires you, and you get this nice little feeling in your stomach. But it hurts. Then I was able to take that and compare it to the feelings you have when you remember your ex that you were close to, but you two broke up – that good, butterfly-y feeling turns into a knot in your abdomen in an instant because you’re reminded you’ll never have that again. That kind of hurt. It hurts to be happy (no laughing), it hurts to be sad (no crying), and it even hurts to breath. I have a history of chest pains as well. The bad thing is that Bebe always tells me not to use that word because doctors and others will freak out… I know the difference between chest pains from anxiety and just chest pains in general, and I think it’s better to tell the doctor when I go about my chest pains. I mean, I have asthma for crying out loud, and it’s a hot, hot summer this summer. Even though I’ve not been outside too much, it could be acting up since I’m 1) in a new environment and 2) have had really bad allergies this year, and said allergies have NOT went away and worsened instead whenever I came here to the city. Ugh, I miss the clean (even though crappy) smell of the farm. At least the air didn’t smell dirty from gasoline and other pollution.

That was written yesterday. Today I’m not in as much pain. Both ovaries were hurting yesterday. 🙁 Thank God August is sooo much close than it was last week – than it was yesterday! Last night I was super hungry, yet I couldn’t handle much. I can’t even think of what I made for dinner last night, let alone look at it – thus meaning I divert my eyes to the shelf with the water bottles and completely avoid the leftover stuffs that I made. Various scents, smells and foods made me sick yesterday, and even thinking about any of that as far as what I made (I can’t say it… it’s like, instant gag still) goes makes me want to puke still. I don’t think it was that that made me sick, though. I’d taken Hydrocodone that day because I was in pain and… blah. I hate what it does to me. My aunt on my dad’s side, Charan, is afraid I’ll get addicted. No thank you. I mean, maybe if I didn’t wait until I was in screeching pain to take pain pills… Meh, I just don’t like medicine…

Sorry, but comments are closed on this post.

Comments on this post

Stephanie’s gravatar

Only six more days until August! You can make it!

My mother always told me to tell the doctors the truth. If you lie to them, how can they know what’s really going on? Even if they do freak out a bit, it’s better than them having less information. There are also many causes for chest pains, and you probably don’t have a very serious one.

Liza’s gravatar

I’ve always told the entire truth.

However, they always tell me, “Sarah, something’s just not adding up… I’ve never seen anything like this before. We’ve given you the actual medication and the placebo.” I got ticked off when I heard about the placebo. -.- They never listen to me. Hardly anyone has ever taken me seriously.

Michelle’s gravatar

Oh no, this is definitely not something I like to read about – I always feel so so sorry for people that have to go through things. This is probably one of the feelings I’d dread to go through.
My sister goes through similar issues but refuses to go to the doctor.

I just read your reply to Steph, I get annoyed with them for that very same reason. Sigh. I really hate doctors, dentists and opticians a looot.

At least August is really close.

Tiff’s gravatar

Hey girl, I’m sorry to hear about your issues. It sucks when you have problems breathing correctly & that feeling when it’s just hard to breathe…it’s horrible. I have ovarian cysts myself & so does my mom. They’re incredibly painful, but I’m actually on birth control to slow down their growth. The only time I actually ever feel pain is when I forget to put in my nuvaring or something. Seriously, if you’re not on birth control, I’d really suggest going to your Gynecologist to talk about some of your options. This is a serious issue & it can develop into ovarian cancer (we’re all at risk if we have cysts!) so take care of it, girl! I really hope your condition gets better.

OH WHOA. I totally just noticed that your scrollbar has been customized. I haven’t seen that kind of modification since I was still using IE as my main browser back in like ’01 or something. That is awesome. I didn’t know you could still even do that!

Liza’s gravatar

Yeah. xD It’s a small code, though. Not the full-out one from the early 2000s. 😛 …That feels too weird to say.

This year my GYN put me on the lowest dose, and last year I was on the middle dose by a different doctor. I’d rather deal with the pain than deal with any of that crap. 🙁 If there’s nothing else, I’d seriously just rather lose my left ovary since it’s the worst. However since it typically gets around to both, my only option for surgery is supposedly both. Either way, it’s a pretty scary matter…

I mean, I’m always that 1%. Bad things almost always happen to me.

Liv’s gravatar

I’m sorry you’re going through so much. A new environment does not help either. It’s funny because I live in New York the pollution capital of this country, but when I go inland I find it hard to breathe in that air.

I agree with your reply to Stephanie. Even if you tell doctors all this stuff, they really don’t have an answer. That is one good reason I never go to the doctor’s unless it’s to get a checkup for a form. When I was younger and had acne, I went to a doctor and all she could do is prescribe a medication. It did not work, at all. My mom could’ve prescribed that much when she’s not even a dermatologist. Right now without stupid medical stuff, I am acne free due to only a few skincare products. I know that is not the greatest example, but in general doctors are dipshits. They don’t take you seriously when you’re young.

But I think you should tell doctors about your chest pain. Maybe they’ll try to figure it out and from that, learn to be better doctors.

Liza’s gravatar

I always tell them, but they think it’s because I don’t ____ and/or ____, and they don’t understand I’ve had such a problem as I was young, too. Don’t know if I have asthma because my mom smoked when she was pregnant with me and/or if I have lung problems because of that as well. :L

Doctors also don’t really take women in general seriously… Some statistic I came across last year stated that doctors (both male and female) were known to give women more placebos than men/the actual thing, and men stronger pain relievers, because they assume that we can handle more pain, especially with the birthing children part and whatnot. And because women can supposedly deal with pain more/are more likely to speak up than men. Personally I think that’s a load of BS and stereotyping.

Liv’s gravatar

Okay I’ve never heard of bullshit like that. Seriously, women get placebos? And I can’t say if the asthma was due to your mom’s smoking, but it’s very likely. You’re not supposed to smoke or drink while pregnant, for a good reason.

Liza’s gravatar

Yeah, doctors don’t even HAVE to tell women, apparently. They also do it because they don’t know/can’t tell if said women are or aren’t faking what they say. Ridiculous, right? Even when I’m older doctors won’t take me seriously. -.-

Maybe she quit smoking, but she smoked before and people tell me she smoked when she was pregnant with me. Either way, lard smoked constantly and finally stopped when Christopher was was born, even though the doctor I had at the time had told him that he needed to stop or else I would have lung problems later on. WELL THEN. Another thing I can blame lard for. -.-

alex’s gravatar

eek, your ovaries hurt? 🙁 and youch, everything sounds so painful!
why can’t you eat? it sounds really serious. i hope things get better for you. i love food too much and it makes me sad that you feel as such! /cry

Liza’s gravatar

Because it makes me so sick that I’m nauseous… When you’re in so much pain, it becomes sickening.

Mutay’s gravatar

Im so confused, this post is slightly upsetting. What exactly is wrong with you and what’s happening in August?
I guess all I can say is I hope you feel better soon and also just tell the doctor the truth. There’s not much that they can do if they don’t know the whole story but sometimes as smart as they are, doctors are stupid.
I could tell that I have a stomach ache and headache and they will tell me it’s not possible and that they dont sound like normal symptoms. Wait what? I’m not the experiencing the pain though?
Sigh. This cycle. Tell me about your Walmart story I’m really intrigued. When authority is given to stupid people they ruin the whole meaning.

Liza’s gravatar

I have an ovarian cyst. All women supposedly get them and hardly ever notice them, meaning they come and go as they please. However when they cause pain and you can tell that they’re there, it’s a problem. However, I’ve been put on birth control twice — the lowest dose and the middle dose — and both made me have contractions similar to those giving labor. I also cough up blood and have nosebleeds, and I’ve heard everything from “Tubercolosis” to “Lung Cancer” to “This just isn’t adding up. I don’t think you’re telling me everything.” I just need one who knows what they’re doing and will listen to me.

…oh, and in August my dad can add me to his insurance, hopefully. If I have to be a student, I can take one online class [hopefully] just to make such a thing happen.

And basically I’m suffering from depression and the manager who was the closest one there keeps drilling me for PERSONAL information I even said that was PERSONAL and DIDN’T FEEL COMFORTABLE sharing. I wish I would have known that I could have just walked out right then and there. He was all, “Sarah, how long have you been here?” and “So not even a full six months yet, and you’re a temp (was hired for holidays)…” and THEN “Are you even serious about this job?” and “Okay, so if we move you to another register, you’ll be fine?” and “Well, how about you try it out for me?” Prior to pulling into the parking lot that Saturday morning I’d hallucinated (PTSD) — a car just literally drove into a freaking culvert and exploded… I later found out it didn’t happen, so I consider it a hallucination — as well as taken my anger out on an elderly lady talking about her dog that died and death and crap, AND I was very suicidal at that time. Yet all he cared about was being an asshole and looking good. I guess I should blog about it.

Chynna’s gravatar

I hate that feeling when you remember something good but then remember that it turned sour, so you’re like, “WHHYYYYY?”

Well, not so dramatically but you get me.

Oh noes, I hope you’re okay! Sounds like a lot of issues are going on right now in your life and I hope everything gets better. Why exactly do you have to take a lot of medicine? Medicine does suck. What’s happening in August?

My shipping is worldwide! So, you’re welcome to join if you want 😀

Liza’s gravatar

I added it into my reply because I forgot (actually I realized you’re a different person P: sorry this happens sometimes), but in August my dad can add me to his insurance, hopefully. If I have to be a student, I can take one online class [hopefully] just to make such a thing happen.

I don’t take a lot of medicine, though? I mean, I take pain relievers and anti-nausea medication because they help with the pain slightly. They don’t completely destroy the pain/all problems, but they minimize it just slightly. Since I ran out of Motrin 800, I’m taking Hydrocodone. I really don’t like Hydrocodone…

…and cool. :p

Thuyy’s gravatar

Wow, you should probably tell the doctors everything, before it gets worst! I’m sorry about your pains though. And your asthma. I think my docs thought I had asthma, but in the end, I didn’t? I don’t really know, but I have allergies and those are ENOUGH for me. I shouldn’t complain, though. >.<


Hahah yes! Over where I am, Asians have TONS of them! Or maybe it's just the type of asian. I'm vietnamese. Do you know any vietnamese families?

Thanks for the rec!

Liza’s gravatar

@Thuyy, I’ve always told them everything. They just don’t listen. And they put women on placebos rather than the real thing too many times.

Doctors don’t listen, and they assume the patient either knows nothing or knows too much about whatever it is they have/think they have/etc., and therefore should be judged no matter the circumstance.