The holidays toward the end of each year are not about the gifts or even the thought – they are about spending time together whether it be spent with family, with friends, or even with both. Though gifts are nice, that is not what the holiday season is all about. If big things come in small packages, why does everything have to be big, and why do so many people expect to receive this, that and those? It’s unnecessary, and though I am a bit bias on the receiving presents and giving gifts side, I still would rather have a Christmas more about spending time with family and friends rather than trying fit an entire bus load into my room.
First of all, who ever actually unwraps present after present to see they were gifted everything from their Christmas list? Although receiving everything from my Christmas list, something without mass given to me would be much more fulfilling than any material object. Aside from that, I don’t see the enjoyment in getting everything I asked for. Where is the surprise?
Second of all, both adults and children are the greediest during this time of year. Fighting over presents? Children acting mean/rude? IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THE FREAKING PRESENTS!!!
Maybe I’m frustrated and taking this out on innocent people rather than the people who really are rude during this time. Oh, wait – they’re out shopping and probably fighting over the last [insert popular toy here] in said department store. Or maybe I’m feeling stressed because I don’t know when the Christmas get-together at my dad’s mom’s house is, and I feel like if I miss that this year, TOO (I missed the Thanksgiving dinner), that I will be looked down upon or something of the sort. This time of the year always stresses me out, and once again, I have a sore throat. I think I am getting sick again, and if so, it will be the second Christmas in a row that I have been sick close to/on/after Christmas.
The Christmas thing at my dad’s mom’s (I call her Grandmama) house is most likely tomorrow, but of course, if it is, I don’t have a way to get there in time. I’m babysitting for my mom tonight, and I already told her I would. Aside from that, I really don’t feel like going since I feel sick.
I want to say/wish that I want at least ONE Christmas to myself, but then that wouldn’t be any fun at all. I guess I just wish that my parents had never divorced, because maybe then I would not feel like I’m always being pulled in every different possible…
…But I don’t say/wish that because I am happy where I am now – I’m thankful for everything I have been through.
Maybe I’m tired of trying to be so freaking perfect for everyone. I can’t be happy all the time, you know?
I just don’t know what to do. I DON’T. Half of me wants to do nothing, and the other half of me wants me to do something. That something is cry. My throat hurts, I feel stressed, I want sleep…
School starts in January. I received my receipt for my grant money. It is for the Spring Semester (3/4 time). From the Federal Pell Grant I received $2082, and from the Federal ACG Grant I received $281. That’s one plus to today. 🙂
sigh …I plan on blogging for a third time later today…