To Whom It May Concern

To whom it may concern:

I’ve either not yet met you or I have and we just haven’t realized we’re each other’s matches yet. If it’s the latter and you’ve hurt me in the past, shame on you; you should have known better. If it’s the former, please take the following seriously and try not to hurt me. If I hurt you, I’m terribly sorry and hope that you can forgive me. I’m so tired and worn out from being hurt and going through heartbreak. It makes me unable to dance and want to dye my skin black and white. It makes me want to become dark inside all over again.

I’m not really a touchy-feely kind of person. Maybe this will change over time, but the ability to feed my desire to cuddle you doesn’t come naturally; instead, I have to get to know you well enough to feel fully comfortable with you that you won’t try to strangle me or make me uncomfortable. With that said, you’ll also understand my weirdness about kissing. And you won’t force me to be ready. And when you try to kiss me and I pull back, you won’t force me to stay and take it; you’ll understand without me having to even say anything.

You won’t pay any attention to my mom and lard. You won’t believe what they say about me, and you’ll refuse contact with them. You’ll know that they really hurt me and messed me up. In fact, you won’t even want to meet them.

You’ll love me for who I am, the good and the bad. Even when I need the space to refuel, you’ll understand. When I start to feel to crowded, you won’t try to confine me in your love box, and you definitely won’t feel like you’re losing me. You’ll love me and continue loving me for as long as you live.

We won’t spank our kids. We’ll incorporate other types of punishment into the household. We also won’t say, “Wait until your father/mother gets home,” or, “Go ask your mother/father,” because we’ll agree that it makes one parental figure seen as the bad guy. You’ll also really be into adopting with me, possibly even more than having our own. If I happen to be infertile (or the other way around), it won’t effect our relationship and our love for each other.

Religion will take part to an extent in our relationship and family, but it won’t be strict to the T.

Our house will be in the countryside, and we’ll have [possibly a dozen or more] cats and horses, and maybe cows and dogs. And we’ll love it, because we’ll love the seclusion and being together. (Or hey, maybe we’ll just have a nice little house in a cute little neighborhood. And still have cats.)

When your friends are mean to me and talk shit about me, you won’t put up with it no matter how long you’ve been together. You’ll give an ultimatum, or something to make them realize that you’re serious. If they send me hate, you’ll believe me without me having to send proof (even though I will gladly provide it). You’ll take my side because you’ll know and believe I’m honest. You’ll definitely take my side after I show you copies. However, hopefully this situation won’t arise and we won’t ever have this problem. The same goes for my friends. In-laws, however… Hopefully they won’t be too bad/problematic over time.

You’ll know the things about myself that I don’t always necessarily make known. You’ll know that I have too much pride to tell someone that they are making me cry or hurt. You’ll know that I like and enjoy romantic gestures but that they can sometimes get to be too much. You’ll want to get to know me as much you can; my mind will intrigue you.

Overall, you’ll understand me. You’ll be patient and kind and lovely; you’ll put up with all my flaws and see me as an imperfect human being who is perfectly me.

And we’ll be okay. We’ll live life to the fullest and overcome obstacles together. We’ll be each other’s other half.


I used to draw.

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Comments on this post

Agent Q’s gravatar

A very well-written letter, if I must say so myself. I like how you’re brutally honest with your thoughts and expect no less. It takes a brave heart and soul to assert one’s integrity and dignity. You will find the one who appreciates you the way any self-respecting individual deserves. 🙂

Deanna’s gravatar

I think your wishes will be easily fulfilled when you find that person, or they find you. Your wants are very reasonable and I know you will find that person when the time is right. Don’t let the past control your future. Continue making yourself the person you want to be. Things will work out.

Kya’s gravatar

All I can say is <3 *hug*

Stephanie’s gravatar

Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Judging by what I see from other blogs on the Internet, the guy you’re looking for exists, but may not be easy to find. You’ll have to look out for someone who is brutally confident and compassionate, and I think that people get more of both as they get older, so your odds will probably increase with time. Good luck!