Weddings, Parties, Anything

Aside from kissing and hugging and all that other emotional relationship crap that guys just decide is okay at any point in time (I’ll admit I’d love to have one of those cute couple moments that make it to cameras any day), weddings are another one of those things that just seem really awkward to me.

If you have divorced parents and a dysfunctional family like I do, the wedding invitations and reception and whatever else requiring them to get together would overall be way too stressful for me to deal with. Then there would be my groom’s side of the family as well, and since I lack even a boyfriend at the moment, I can’t even make an appropriate example on this topic as far as how the two families would interact with each other and whether they could coexist in the same places together. My mom didn’t go to my birthday party last year because my dad and some of his side of the family was there, but her excuse was that she wasn’t feeling well. I didn’t lie for her, but I didn’t “rat” her out, either. No one asked but Mimi and Bebe and Shane. Carrie and Patrick got to come over, though, and Patrick enjoyed playing with two of my cousins (Charan’s grandchildren). Carrie was jealous of Ruby, my youngest sister. xD

Who wants to make out in front of fifty or more people? Or anyone, really, even if it is a celebration/ceremony/thing? Yeah, not me. I’m the type of person who analyzes pretty much everything, too, so I’m just curious… You do get to rehearse that part, right? And the wedding garter… I don’t want our families watching him feel me up, OMG. That’s embarrassing. -.-

And then you’ve got this huge dress that is most likely going to be in the way of whatever it is that you end up doing after you get married at the alter… Isn’t there a party thing afterward? And if so, then why do the people always drive away in movies to go wherever for the honeymoon in a vehicle that says something along the lines of “JUST MARRIED”? Because the party/thing IS where the groom removes the wedding garter, correct?

I don’t know all that much about weddings. I don’t even know how you’re actually supposed to act. I’m not exactly a people person, people annoy me and drive me insane, and parties? Yeah, they definitely aren’t my thing.

And I’m guessing someone is just expected to clean stuff up for you after the wedding?

I think this little rant just made me sound really prudish.

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Comments on this post

Karen’s gravatar

This is like what I am going through right now. My parents are recently divorced and they are so childish.
I don’t support their divorce, but I definitely don’t agree with the way they are dealing with the divorce.
Like last night, my sister got admitted to the hospital.
And today, my mom was like “If your dad really cared about your sister, he would have come” in a very sarcastic tone.
I was quite pissed off and I told her off.
“Dad didn’t even know that she went to the hospital! And why are you acting like that? You’re already so old but you’re so childishly. “

Liza’s gravatar

@Karen, My mom has always been so sour toward my dad & his side of the family — and, really, anyone who talks to them/is nice to them/etc. She holds grudges, though. I forgive, but I can never forget. I wish I could. I tend to remember the bad stuff. I don’t know of any divorce that can actually happen when kids are involved that doesn’t include a traumatic experience. I was really young when it happened; I wish you and your sister the best of luck.

Krystal’s gravatar

Weddings can be quite confusing, especially my culture’s wedding (which people simply call Cambodian/Khmer weddings). I mean, people don’t tell you these things. 😛 You just have to figure it all out on your own which I think is the suckish part, hah. I’ve always wondered where the bride and groom drive to after their wedding ceremony… I do know the party part is called the reception, though. 😛 Cambodian weddings have receptions as well and that’s typically the most fun part for Cambodian folks because of the music, food, and dancing. It’s also makes it a good time for old folks to catch up with old friends (ahem like my dad ahem).

Though, no one ever said you have to follow the traditional ways. You can just…make up your own wedding! xD

But, with your parents and all that – I guess it can be awkward. :T But it’s not like they CAN’T show up, you know?

Rachel’s gravatar

I think the “just married” cars in movies might be driving to the reception, or maybe the reception was held at the same location as the ceremony, but I don’t know.

I’m not a big fan of weddings, either. The garter can go fuck itself; I won’t be wearing one. If I ever even get married (I don’t know if I ever want to, anymore).

My parents are divorced, too. I don’t know if I would invite my dad to my wedding, let alone his whole side of the family. My mom would hate it and I wouldn’t even want him there, but it would really upset him… it’s all so complicated. At least I have a long time before I have to worry about that. I have absolutely no intention of getting married before I’m at LEAST 28.

Stephanie’s gravatar

As someone whose parents doesn’t have any sort of these relationship issues, I am sorry that you have to deal with this situation. It’s too bad that your mom is childish and not civil with her ex. Actually, from reading your blog, I feel like your mom and Mimi never really grew up in some ways, which is too bad. And to make things worse, I read a news article about divorce rates that quoted a divorce lawyer who said that lately, the couples have been less childish and more civil when approaching him.

In Chinese cultures, you actually have two weddings: one for the bride’s side of the family and another for the groom’s side of the family, so the two sides actually never have to meet. I think that that’s a strange and tiring tradition, but it can usually take away half of the awkwardness that a wedding can create sometimes.

If you don’t want a full-blown wedding, it’s probably okay to just have a few close friends and family together in a church or courthouse these days. After all, it’s your wedding. In America (at least from what I can tell), a wedding is supposed to be about YOU and your fiance, so you two get to plan it yourselves. Interestingly enough, for Chinese people, a wedding isn’t about you. It’s about your parents showing you off to all their friends. I think that someday, your fiance will help you stand up to your family and you’ll have a wonderful wedding.

Aashni’s gravatar

Heya 🙂

Ahh.. You think those type of weddings are bad? You should try going for an Indian Wedding – it can be upto 9 days of celebration, ceremonies, dinners, indian clothes.. and lots more! It’s where your entire family come together for a special ceremony, which in theory is awesome.. but in practice it means a LOT of people are coming.

My cousin is getting married in two months – I grew up with him, and he’s pretty much my older brother. There are about 2500+ people coming to this wedding, as far as I know… And I’m terrified because that’s a lot of people. And they’re all important somehow or another. -_-

In general, I think weddings, or the idea behind them at least, is really nice and romantic (i’m a romantic at heart sadly). It’s a couples way of expressing to the rest of the world that they’re in love. Wether it’ll last the rest of their lives or not is a whole other story… And when you put up the stuff about the garter belt etc… it’s kinda awkward too 😛 But the general idea about a wedding is still nice. I think today people put way too much time/money/effort into weddings. I’ve heard of families going bankrupt because of how expensive weddings can be. EEP.

Kate’s gravatar

You’re preaching to the choir, hun. x.x I think I’m the only slightly normal or sane person from my family!

I don’t really like being the ‘centre of attention’ and find it all a bit embarrassing to be honest! XD I suppose I can come across as a bit shy or awkward in some situations, but it’s only because I like to keep my relationships or affections somewhat private and don’t feel the need to flaunt it in everyone’s faces, you know? But in saying that, I am a romantic idiot. ^.^

My uncle and auntie have been together since before I can even remember, have 3 children and have never felt the need to get married. They just don’t feel the need to!

But in all honesty, having had my heart broken and being stuck in the middle of my parents childish problems and behaviour, I’m quite happy ending up a crazy cat lady! XD

Liv’s gravatar

This does not sound prudish at all. A prude would want a huge traditional wedding, wouldn’t she? I don’t think it’s wrong to not want to make out or be felt up in public. People who display public affection obviously lack in self-confidence that they need people to acknowledge “ohh you’re in a relationship and you get action.”

My dad’s side of the family cannot coexist with my mom’s side. Though my parents are not divorced, their families are pretty much fighting whenever they’re together due to extreme differences in lifestyles. As far as I know my parents never had a wedding though.

Personally I do not want a wedding because it is far too much effort and I have no interest in showing off.

Georgie’s gravatar

Prudish? Nah. Some people just really don’t like weddings at all, hence decide not to get married in a ceremony, but get legally married by having someone sign their name… I forgot what that’s called.

The garter thing is gross, in my opinion. Maybe not gross, but it seems weird at the very least. I think it’s very awkward. shudders

Weddings don’t have to be uncomfortable, some people dress up in a really simple dress, or wear whatever they want. My parents have been fighting for such a long time, but unlike you, it doesn’t make me dislike weddings and that kind of thing.

Lexi’s gravatar

can i say, this is exactly why my husband and i skipped the wedding and went to the courthouse? hahahaha j/k it was just too stressful to plan a wedding while in college! but i think it is embarrassing to be all lovey dovey in front of so many people.

Liza’s gravatar

Haha, I do want a wedding, but I don’t want it to be like an ordinary one. xD

Alice’s gravatar

Haha, I know next to nothing about weddings too! (Although I think the “JUST MARRIED” thing is an old tradition–now we have wedding parties and stuff >.>) And I definitely know what you mean about getting the divorced parents to interact: most awkward situation ever, right? My parents are divorced too and it’s just so, so awkward when they’re in the same room together ugh ;; Although I have some friends whose parents are divorced and they’re friends, which I envy. BAH.

Also, lmao, I don’t think you rehearse the kissing? o.O I once heard of this couple who had never kissed each other (or another person) until their wedding, and then there they were like, making out o_o

Nana’s gravatar

I think weddings are better than that. It’s just a slight peck on the lips rather than making out — making out in front of people is just icky. I never knew there was a wedding garter…that’s weird to me…and the dress is dependent on what you want, so if you want a more functional one, I’m sure there are better options out there.

I think the wedding will be fun 🙂 Since you don’t have a boyfriend right now, maybe you’ll just find that other single guy at the party and have some chemistry. Ha, that’s what always happens in movies, I find.

Liza’s gravatar

I’m not going to any wedding. o.o It’s too bad, though. Because maybe then I really could meet a single guy. Pft. P: