I used to be someone who spoke more than a mere few words. I used to be able to tolerate being around people, and now I can’t seem to escape them quick enough.
Lately, I’ve been spending the majority of my time alone, in my room. I feel disconnected from others. I’m so exhausted from having to explain things all of the time, and then from answering questions. Questions consist of explanations waiting to be told. This results to more words. I’m physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted. I’ve been spending this week watching Pretty Little Liars on the web, beginning from the start.
It’s been nice to sit back and just watch the characters’ lives for a bit; I’ve sort of found myself lost in it. I quit watching it for a while because of my job at Walmart. I was never home when it was on, and using the broadband Internet I was using simply did not work at all. I eventually just stopped watching TV altogether, and like last year with Skins, when I start watching a series that has been around for a while now from the beginning. It’s easier to understand things and know all of the details. I get so into it that I don’t want to wait to watch it later, so I continue to watch it as much as I can.
Watching PLL has oddly helped me with my inability to form coherent sentences. I’m not saying I completely can again yet, but it’s helped me to be able to think logically, meaning putting two and two together. Perhaps this is because the series Pretty Little Liars is one big logic puzzle. I’d seen random episodes of the show here and there, so to be able to watch these episodes from the start, and then some all over again, I’m able to keep a mental notebook. I was already right about Melissa having something to do with it, and then I was also right again about “A” threatening Allison as well. Although the producer(s)/writer(s) said something about it on Twitter one time about them not following along with the books, I think Ali does have a twin in the series. :p
My point is that relaxing is okay. Stepping back from my [self-made] responsibilities and so-called priorities has helped me to not be so stressed out. The quiet is okay. I stopped worrying about what people counted on me for for me and realized exactly how much stress it was.
P.S. I’m not a big enough fan to discuss PLL in full, or even a small, conversation. Let’s not necessarily try to carry on that discussion.
I think I’m going to set up an email and post in the forums for people to contact me via that if they have any problems. I’m tired of people counting on me to reply at the forums. I stated the board I was in the most, and yet everyone is asking me for help on the other one. I also have my email listed on the page. I hate being mean, but for myself I really need to realize that this amount of stress affects my health and the ability for me to get better.
I’m more important than the matters in which people rely on me for.
How was your week?