Why I Scrapped NaNoWriMo

I’ll admit I thought it was this awesome thing at first. However, I can’t want to do something because it’s awesome, because I want to prove it to myself that I can do it, or because I want to be a part of it and actually go through with it. To be able to actually go through with something, I have to be able to see how it will benefit me right then and there, in that very moment. Otherwise, I can’t do it. For some reason, that’s how it’s always been for me. However, I had an epiphany throughout November.

Late start

The fact that I started about five or so days late didn’t help me. It’s like a major assignment for English: If you start late, you’re already that much behind. If your teacher has/you have outlined a schedule for you that works depending solely on the time given to you, you’re pretty much screwed and have to do more work each day. This was a novel, and it was 50,000 words. That’s a lot of words. I got up to 6,627 words. Seeing people with 50,000 words and counting IN JUST ONE DAY didn’t help, either.

Already depressed

It wasn’t like I could get depressed or feel more depressed from not doing it. In fact, after I realized I started late, I stopped caring about it. From the start, I lacked motivation to actually do it. I didn’t care about it because I had to focus on that and focus on myself. During November, I wasn’t doing so hot. I didn’t want to expect myself to finish 50,000 words. That kind of pressure doesn’t do anything for me but make me have expectations and fear of not being able to do it and get it done on time.

I don’t really know how to explain it; I just hate that feeling.

But I begun

I realized I was writing crap. I was rushing. Day to day, I’d rush to get in my word quota. The words were just pennies trying to make a dollar; they were just there to add up. It was crap. Not because I hadn’t planned, but because I write crap under pressure. It was also getting a bit too personal, when that’s not at all what I’d ever intended for it to be. Nothing too personal, even if the character is a piece of me.

BUT I started on it. I finally started on it. That counts for something, right?

Thus, maybe in the future I’ll be able to do it. But for right now, I need to find the peace of me before I try to write a piece of me’s life.

Sorry, but comments are closed on this post.

Comments on this post

Manda’s gravatar

NaNoWriMo didn’t work out for me either this year, but mainly because I lost interest in my own story. I think if I spent more time outlining and using a new idea (the story I went with was a rewrite of something I had written several years ago) then I would have been more motivated to stick with it. But hey, there’s always next year!

Susanne/Sinead’s gravatar

I admit that I had to google Nanowrimo. And wow, I’m impressed with anyone who takes part in such a thing! Maybe because I’m so stressed and restless all the time and can’t keep up with something you have to do regularly, I just can’t do it, just thinking of it makes me stressed (mainly because of my job). I can totally relate to looking at how late you are and see with agony how good everyone else is doing with it! I try to avoid anything that makes me compare myself with others these days.

Meaghan’s gravatar

How long do you have to do NaNoWriMo?
Well I mean, since you started it already, you could try to finish it? On your own time, of course. Then you’ll have time to perfect the novel!
You can always try next year!

In reply to your comment on my blog post, I’ve never heard of Krill Oil until the company contacted me to do a review/giveaway for them. Krill Oil has more Omega-3 than Fish Oil, which is what I’ve been taking until I received the bottles. 😛 I’m still researching what exactly it does, but they have LOTS of information listed on their website which I’ve linked in my post. :3

Stephanie’s gravatar

Dude, people who get to 50,000 words in one day are either 1) not updating like they should be, or 2) cheating and already had a story written up. Don’t let that get to you!

And there is always this November! 😀 Now that you’ve gotten started, I’m sure that you’ll do better next year!

Gretch’s gravatar

I’ve heard of Nanowrimo and I’ve actually considered doing it. I don’t think it’s for me though. For starters, I can’t think of any nice plot, my thoughts are always too confusing and I don’t have enough writing skill for that.

Something that confuses me though: it says in their website it’s suppose to start/end on November?

Anyway,good luck ~ I hope you can find the piece of mind you’re looking for. 🙂

Gretch’s gravatar

Sorry…=n= That was very stupid of me. I didn’t see the word “November” the first time I read it.

Liza’s gravatar


No worries! Not stupid. 🙂

Becca’s gravatar

NaNoWriMo is really hard. Getting into the habit of writing everday (if you don’t already do so) a large amount of words is hard to get into, and it’s even harder to kind of turn off all those negative thoughts as you write. My first year I didn’t win, but it did give me the experience to go on to the next year and win. And those people that write 50,000 in one day are CRAZY. I really have no idea how they can do that.

You may have not won, but it’s definitely about the fact that you did write and that you started. That DEFINITELY counts as something.