Words Hurt

This post may be triggering due to the abusive content.

They really do, and when you find yourself surrounded in negativity, if you’re like me, you’ll just end up drowning in it.

Me? I just remember the negative. I can’t name/tell about positive things. There’s more, but I got a cramp in my hand. P:

The Hurtful Things (that were said)

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  • She’s not normal.
  • She needs help.
  • She needs to be put in some facility.
  • She’s not sleeping, and she’s crying all the time.
  • You’re not normal.
  • This isn’t how people live.
  • She doesn’t have any friends. (In my defense, working unstable hours does not really give much time for friends and/or to actually make friends [because they have the same job].)
  • She’s not acting like herself.
  • I can’t tickle her or hug her or anything.
  • When I force hugs, she gets mad. (Again, another defense thing: If I was touched wrongly my entire childhood, abused, etc., am I seriously expected to be okay with people touching me without my permission? Didn’t think so. -.-)
  • She’s not happy.
  • She looks horrible.
  • She’s not pretty anymore.
  • Why don’t ever fix your hair how I like it?
  • Why won’t you ever wear ______?
  • You’re ungrateful. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m just stating the FACTS.
  • You’re the most disrespectful person I have ever met.
  • Why don’t you go jump off a bridge already? (I almost did once. ‘Twas a ravine, in Austin, TX. My brother Isaac tattled on me. He’s also the one who told me this.)
  • She’s just off her meds. She didn’t take her crazy pills. She’s fine. (My mom to my dad Sunday, October 14, 2007. Yeah, I remember that year like it’s this year.)
  • Throw her on the floor and grab her phone. I don’t care what it takes, [my mom’s name here].
  • She only cares about herself. She’ll have a short life because of it. In fact, if she’s smart, she’ll kill herself before she ruins anyone else’s life.
  • You’ll never graduate high school. (I did, you happy, lard? -.-)
  • You deserved everything you went through. You deserved everything I did to you.
  • If you wouldn’t have dressed like such a kid, that wouldn’t have happened.
  • You’re lying. You just hate him. All he’s ever done is love you as if you were his own daughter, and you were disrespectful to him everyday because of it. (Yeah? I’m guessing everything he did + him smoking even though my doctor said that having a smoker in the house was making my asthma worse and him burning my thigh with his stupid cigarette butt because I wouldn’t hug him is considered “love”? You’re right; I don’t know what “love” is.)
  • It was a mistake to have you. I should have aborted you. Because of you, I didn’t get to do what everyone else was doing in high school. I gave up a lot for you. The least you could do for me is pay me back how I want. (Actually, I was always either with my aunt, grandmother or great grandmother and great grandfather. Always.)

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It actually felt nice to write all of those down.

Has anyone ever put you down? What’d they say/do? You don’t have to share. πŸ™‚

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Comments on this post

Liv’s gravatar

Oh wow, some of those things are utterly crazy, as in I can’t believe someone who say that. Especially the last one. If your mom chose to have you then how can she just blame you for everything? I’m sorry if I’m saying something wrong because I don’t have context, but I feel terrible.

Let’s see some of the things that have been said to me. Oh no, the words didn’t hurt. It hurt more that I’m related to the dumbshit who said them:
– So you could apply to great schools but what are you crazy so you instead applied to a shitty school?? (My school is actually the top in my degree not that I’m bragging about it because it’s rather tough)
– Why do you have to listen to pathetic music when there’s so much good love and happy songs to listen to?

And to lighten the mood, some dick in high school kept telling me to go commit suicide. Our French teacher told him to speak in French, and instead he said, in French, “What will you wear when you commit suicide?” Okay I didn’t really lighten the mood, sorry.

[…] post titled “Words Hurt” was an unfinished scheduled post that I wrote a few days ago and completely forgot about. […]